This is the biggest image of Doug Mientkiewicz I could put alongside this post without going off on a sixteen paragraph rant about how it had to be the PIRATES who gave this guy a minor league contract and then were bad enough to need him in the bigs. Imagine if Kevin Maas just showed up out of nowhere playing for the Nationals. It'd be "Maas Hysteria~!" all over again.

Tonight's Dugout is basically one joke that 0.05% of the regular readership of the Dugout, a readership that makes up about 0.005% of Fanhouse traffic, will enjoy. Nothing is truer to the spirit of the old Dugout than a joke that nobody gets or enjoys!

Tumbleweeds and the rest of the Dugout are after the jump.

The Dugout

	ItsPronouncedMientkiewicz: ...it's just embarrassing. It really is.
	ItsPronouncedMientkiewicz: You've got three guys who play balls out right now. It's frustrating. Just frustrating. The whole thing is frustrating.
	ItsPronouncedMientkiewicz: /motions with right arm I mean, look at this place
	ItsPronouncedMientkiewicz:
	ItsPronouncedMientkiewicz: It's Ghost Town. /shakes head
	ItsPronouncedMientkiewicz: I don't know. What are you going to do? Nothing you can do. Just sign off and try again tomorrow, I guess.
	KingOfPap: your a 34 yr old n00b
	KingOfPap: gos towns a good map try usen you're plasma rifles or dual spikers
	ItsPronouncedMientkiewicz: sigh, it's just not working, I keep hitting square and nothing happens
	KingOfPap: looooool squar what kinda cotroller r u usin????
	KingOfPap: here try this put ur pad on th groun
	ItsPronouncedMientkiewicz: ok /puts controller on floor
	KingOfPap: now im gonna make it rumbel
	ItsPronouncedMientkiewicz: /waits
	ItsPronouncedMientkiewicz: Nothing's happening.
	KingOfPap: "i see you lik casselvania!!!!" /blasts to death with M41 SSR
	KingOfPap: noobie get owned noobie get owned
	KingOfPap: maximum ownage uber pwnage
	ItsPronouncedMientkiewicz: WHAT THE- Forget this, forget this, I'm through this time for real
	KingOfPap: dug u did this when u wer on the sawks u did this when u play for the mets
	KingOfPap: u use to warn me on aim when i pwnt u on the yankees an now ur whinin on the pirates
	KingOfPap: u always take ur ball n go hoem ur a worst sport than k. farnsworth an hes a creepy crazy
	KingOfPap: stop bein a bk an addmit that u suck u suck dug
	ItsPronouncedMientkiewicz: What? I don't suck. I ended the curse of the Bambino!
	KingOfPap: now ur 0 for 5,256 agains me @ halo
	KingOfPap: even papi beat me n 1 game an he think the xbox controlr is a maraca
	ItsPronouncedMientkiewicz: I don't care, I don't want to play this anymore. Let's play something else.
	KingOfPap: k
	KingOfPap: u wan play spies
	ItsPronouncedMientkiewicz: I don't think I have Spies for the XBox 360
	ItsPronouncedMientkiewicz: What do spies do?
	KingOfPap: get raped with no scope lololol /elite kills
	Online Host ItsPronouncedMientkiewicz has left the chatroom.
	strikeout_rod: you shouldn't do that to poor doug he dont know any better
	KingOfPap: u wan play halo
	strikeout_rod: okay just let me load everything up
	KingOfPap: k
	KingOfPap: doot doot doot
	Online Host Several minutes pass
	KingOfPap: d00d herry up whats takin u so long
	strikeout_rod: sorry i got like sixty saves on this machine

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The Dugout: Ghost Town

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Photos link to player info. (Photo Credit: Getty Images) WordUpThome.com

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