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The minute it happened I signed onto AIM and told fellow Dugoutist Jon Bois about what was going down. His comments sum it up as well as I could hope to: "Gary Sheffield is like Barry Bonds Jr., and if I can't see somebody beating up Barry Bonds at least I can see this."
Tonight's Dugout is after the jump. /pumps fist
The Dugout
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KissTheSheff: /glares |
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IlGrandeFausto: /glares back |
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KissTheSheff: /stands at first base for several minutes meticulously removing cadre of arm-armor /removes bat from armpit |
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IlGrandeFausto: what |
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KissTheSheff: You did that on purpose! |
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IlGrandeFausto: an it took me five minutes to find a spot on your old ass that wasn't covered in hard plastic, you like a damn dunkin' booth without the man |
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KissTheSheff: yeah well keep it up, I got a whole dugout full of Tigers waiting to pounce your ass at my command |
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IlGrandeFausto: o rly /throws ball to first |
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KissTheSheff: AAH I'M NOT WEARING MY RROTECTION /dives behind first base coach |
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KissTheSheff: Throw the ball to the catcher, that's your job! I ain't never seen a damn pitcher throw the ball to the first plate! /blood fills with rage |
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IlGrandeFausto: sorry mr. sheffield you want me to go get the nanny for ya |
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KissTheSheff: RRRAAAAAAAH TOTEM SPIRIT ROBIN VENTURA /charges mound from first |
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IlGrandeFausto: FAUSTO, PUNCH~! |
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IlGrandeFausto: /applies headlock /punches face repeatedly |
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KissTheSheff: gackkk |
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IlGrandeFausto: show me ya moves |
| **Online Host** Both benches have cleared and the once Progressive Field has been thrown into turmoil. |
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IlGrandeFausto: /pummels old man |
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KissTheSheff: I'M WINNING, I'M WINNING /bleeds from face |
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TheAngryInge: oh shi oh shi- |
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TheDefeatedVictor: /rushes mound ULTIMATE PUNCH! / |
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TheAngryInge: /flies into outfield |
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IlGrandeFausto: /is pulled away from battered journeyman's dome |
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KissTheSheff: YEAH HOW'D YOU LIKE THAT HUH |
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KissTheSheff: I BEAT YOU SO BAD I'M BLEEDIN YOUR BLOOD OUT MY NOSE |
| **Online Host** Meanwhile, on the other side of the pile... |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: /wanders in from bullpen /puts hands into pockets of satin jacket, whistles "Farmer in the Dell" |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: sup omar |
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DolsiDoe: bench clearing brawl, Farnsy, right here in front of you. Sheffield charged from first. |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: huh, well hey at least somebody finally got him to run /surveys pile-up hows ya boy brandon |
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DolsiDoe: murdered by Victor Martinez. And I don't know how many times I have to tell you, he's not my gay thuggish lover, and my name is "Freddy," not Omar |
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DolsiDoe: God, I've never seen a fight like this. |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: heh, all in the game yo all in the game |
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DolsiDoe: isn't this what we brought you to Detroit for? Isn't this right up your alley? Shouldn't you be whompin white folk and puerto ricans alike? |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: /spits, hits charred remains of Brandon Inge hardly seems worth it anymore |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: /kicks up dirt, begins walking back to bullpen last thing im gonna do is help the ball club that pays me |
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DolsiDoe: Huh. You're a complicated man, Farnsy. |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: /waves without looking an no one understans me but my woman. an she stopt posten a long time ago |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: /puts in earphones i hate this dam instant messenger client |
| **Online Host** Meanwhile, in the Tribe Dugout... |
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PostcardsFromTheWedge: great job, kid /pats Carmona on back you really knocked the dook out of his teeth |
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IlGrandeFausto: hahaha, thanks coach :) |
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BigLeagueChoo: choo choo! my belly so full of fire i have choice but to go out there an win the game! /charges onto field |
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Pronky_Kong: I'm still prob'ly gonna strike out, but I'm gonna do it REALLY HARD! WOO HOO! /charges onto field |
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Barf: you rule, Fausto! /high fives |
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IlGrandeFausto: d'aww |
| **Online Host** Meanwhile, in the Tigers Dugout... |
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KissTheSheff: /wipes blood from shirt Aw hell naw you guys see what he did to me out there, we aren't gonna take that are we, ARE WE!!! /looks around
are we? |
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KissTheSheff: man i hate the sh** outta all a y'all |
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