Sunday Hangover: BCS 1, Hypothetical Doomsday Scenarios 0

There are reasons to get up in arms - like Monta Ellis just offered you a ride on his moped or Chris Cooley just offered to show you his photo album. Like, say, your pants are on fire. Or, you're Matt Millen. Or maybe you're Matt Millen AND your pants are on fire.


But entering Week 5, the college football world exploded with worries that an undefeated USC team would get squeezed out by an undefeated Big 12 team and an undefeated SEC team, while BYU, South Florida, and BCS-buster-to-be-named would all finish undefeated, cure the common cold, turn Gatorade into wine and ensure all of Ronaldo's prostitutes were in fact women, and yet still get shut out of the BCS.

In the span of four days, Congress got less criticism than the BCS. Wall Street thought the BCS got bad press. Paris Hilton could have put on Tom Brady's protective boot and accompanied Jerome Bettis to his hometown of Detroit and it would get less coverage than the BCS bashing.

In fact, UCLA scientists discovered a 13-million digit prime number this week and realized that it only had two uses: Joe Paterno's age and cataloging the BCS complaints this week.

And all for what?

Thursday night, there was the biggest failure by a pack of Trojans this side of Travis Henry's amorous adulthood. Then on Saturday, Florida lost to a team that hadn't won a SEC game since 2006, while Georgia took the kind of beating usually handed out by East Carolina security or Allen Iverson's entourage.

So let's all just take a deep breath. Inhale. (And no, not in that Mario Chalmers kind of way). Exhale. And for the love of all lost causes, let's please stop fretting about the BCS months before it has any impact on the season.

Because right now, in the midst of the best 15 weeks of the sports calendar, we can't see the forest for the millions of trees we're cutting down to write columns berating the BCS, not even if you borrowed Paterno's glasses.Worrying about where teams stand now is like worrying that Damon Wayans might win an Oscar because White Chicks 3 is the only movie to come out this year. The BCS isn't designed to pick a national champion after five weeks of a season any more than Major League Baseball is set up to crown a champion in May or the Tour de France is before the mountain stages.

So hopefully after the weekend collapses by the certain BCS titans, we'll realize that whatever the BCS debate is now, in roughly 10 weeks Manning vs. Leaf will probably think it's a stupid argument.

Just let the season play out.

Players get hurt and change the entire complexion of the team, like Pat White last season. Like former No. 1 USC last year, weaknesses get exposed. And like any Saturday in one of four states, Pac-10 referees make calls that leave Ed Hochuli feeling pretty good about himself.

History is on the side of caution. In 2007, we were certain that late losses were going to keep LSU and Ohio State out. We spent time complaining about West Virginia before Pitt took down the then No. 2 team. Two years ago, Southern Cal worked its way back into the title game discussion despite losing on the road to an underdog Oregon State, but ultimately proved itself unworthy after a shocking loss to UCLA.

So no matter which elite team you root for, the BCS probably hasn't squashed your season yet. (With the exception of two-time title game loser Ohio State. Every team in football could get eliminated except for Ohio State, Duke and the Super Tecmo Bowl Patriots and it'd be the Blue Devils versus electronic Steve Grogan for the whole enchilada. In fact, you're more likely to see Manimal back in your television listing guides before a Buckeye BCS title game.)

And all that BCS bashing just becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. We spend four months arguing about how the BCS will fail then only begrudgingly hand out credit when the nation's top teams actually face each other in a national title game, something that prior to the BCS was, at best, a chance occurrence.

Is it incomplete compared to a playoff? Maybe, but is it really so bad that we have to spend all 15 weeks of the season complaining about it and giving it more ink than Britney Spears' latest underwear slip? There are more important things to talk about. (By which we mean Olympic women's beach volleyball).

Would a playoff be more interesting? Certainly. Would there be less arguments? Probably not. The NCAA hoops lets in 65 teams, 34 of which are selected by a panel, and yet on Selection Sunday all we hear about is why Syracuse was left out again.

And is the system really that bad? Can't we give it just a little patience to see how the season works out before jumping all over it?

After all, the BCS does a better job of rewarding the best team over an entire season than March Madness. After watching 12 games from every team and 13 for some, the championship game is effectively decided by the collective wisdom of coaches and the 114 Harris voters, who make up two-thirds of the BCS ranking. Unlike the NCAA Tournament, which rewards the best team and the luck of the draw in a one-and-done environment, the BCS rewards the best regular season. In the last 10 NCAA Tournaments, only once did a team finish the year with the nation's best RPI and win the national title (Duke, in 2001) and only three times did the national championship team finish in the top four. Only twice (Maryland over Kansas in 2002, and Duke over Michigan State in 1999) did the top two teams even meet in the tournament, something regardless of how you feel about the BCS, certainly happens more often than not. Sure, it's not the great television drama of buzzer-beaters and underdogs, but if you want to reward the best team across a 12-game regular season and a one-game playoff, the BCS trumps the NCAA Tournament.

And even if you don't buy that, the BCS still represents a tremendous improvement over the old system. Is there a rule that says you can't celebrate when you upgrade from Ford to a Lexus just because it's not a Ferrari? In the 10 years of the BCS, only once has there been a split national championship compared to three times in the previous 10 seasons. And give the voters credit, since an undefeated Auburn team was denied in 2004, they've shown no problem leapfrogging teams. Last year, LSU vaulted Georgia, Virginia Tech and Kansas in the final regular season polls to earn a shot at the BCS title.

And no matter how much you want a playoff, isn't the current system at least good enough that we can enjoy the 15-week playoff of college football without complaining about the BCS at the first sign of hypothetical trouble?

Of course, if we did make it through the season without a weekly BCS rant, you'd have to throw out Oregon State defeating USC because that would undoubtedly be the greatest upset of the season.

The Big 16

Find out who the nation's top teams are each week as we rank the best 16 and set up something heretofore unheard of in college football, a play...wait for it...off. At season's end, the top 16 will compete in two brackets -- the Fairburn, Ga. division, ancestral home of Hangover mancrush Eric Berry, and the erstwhile Fort Myers, Fla. division, ancestral home of the pizza bagel.

• 1. Oklahoma Sooners: We've been ranking the Sooners No. 1 all year. Welcome to the party. Enjoy party favors of smugness.
• 2. Alabama Crimson Tide: The Tide played the most impressive half of football this season against Georgia. Alabama's linebacking corp was a weak link entering the season, but if Knowhshon Moreno can't even make it into the second level of the defense, does it matter that they're better than expected?
  
• 3. Missouri Tigers: Chase Daniel's Heisman campaign hits top gear next week when the Tigers, who were idle this week, meet Nebraska and the Husker's 96th-ranked pass defense. Maybe we'll find another use for that 13-million digit prime number after all.
• 4. LSU Tigers: Even if freshman quarterback Jarrett Lee falters, does it matter? With that defense and Charles Scott rushing for over 100 yards every game, who's stopping the Tigers?
• 5. Texas Longhorns: Once upon a time, Casey Dick was averaging over 300 passing yard per game. The Longhorns kept Dick and the Hogs' offense out of the end zone. Still, Dick is no Sam Bradford. But before the Longhorns meet the Sooners, Texas has to avoid getting clipped the week before. Colorado toppled Oklahoma last year. Will they do the same to the other half of the Red River rivalry this year?
• 6. USC Trojans: One loss likely won't end USC's title hopes, even in a weaker than normal Pac-10. Two years ago, the Trojans were one narrow loss to UCLA from playing for the BCS title, despite a road loss to the Beavers. So step away from the ledge, Trojan fans. Unless, of course, you're one of the ones responsible for Vin Diesel having a career.
• 7. Texas Tech: How amazing was Michael Crabtree's freshman season? He's averaging more than a touchdown a game this year and we're still waiting on the explosion.
• 8. Georgia Bulldogs: Black is apparently only slimming in college football in regards to your dwindling BCS title hopes.
  
• 9. Florida: The Gators certainly have the pieces for a BCS title run, now it's up to Urban Meyer to put together the puzzle (which, coincidentally, is a graduate level course at some SEC schools).
  
• 10. Brigham Young Cougars: Even on their off week, the Cougars scored another 21 points against UCLA.
• 11. Auburn Tigers: Tommy Tuberville's career-long dream of killing offenses continues along nicely.
• 12. Penn State Nittany Lions: Derrick Williams' Penn State career may never live up to the high school hype, but he turned in a season worth of highlights against the Illini
• 13. Ohio State Buckeyes: Terrelle Pryor and Beanie Wells versus Penn State's spread HD offense for the Big Ten title Oct. 25th? We'll be watching.
• 14 South Florida: The Bulls don't have a ranked team on their schedule the rest of the season. Can they avoid another mid-season slump?
  
• 15. Kansas: Credit Mark Mangino for building a program in Lawrence and not just a one-year wonder. Also, credit him for doing more for velour than anyone this side of Robert Goulet.
  
• 16. Vanderbilt: The 26-year bowl drought seems all but certain to end. And just think, they can beat you at football and Trivial Pursuit.