Painter Refuses to Do Portrait of Colin Montgomerie Because of His Man Boobs

Apparently, Colin Montgomerie can't even mind his own business without having somebody take a few shots at him. I'm sure he's just now getting over the injustice perpetrated by that egomaniacal monster, Ryder Cup captain Nick Faldo, only to have to deal with this, easily the funniest golf-related item I've read since, well, yesterday.

[Jack Vettriano, a] 56-year-old painter said he was approached to produce a painting of the sportsman for the National Galleries of Scotland but turned the commission down, saying: "I don't do men with breasts."

According to the Telegraph, Vettriano "enjoys huge popularity with the public and his paintings sell for hundreds of thousands of pounds," but feels shunned by the art community because they don't appreciate his work. So, basically, he's the art world's version of Colin Montgomerie. And yet, it wasn't enough to persuade Vettriano to waive his "no moobs" clause. Sad, really.

He wasn't done, though; the humiliation gets ratcheted up a few more notches:

According to reports, [Vettriano] said: "I was in France when I got a call from my art dealer who said there might have been a breakthrough. 'The National Galleries would like you to do a portrait'."I said: 'Who?' 'Colin Montgomerie'.
"I said: 'I'm afraid that the answer is no. I don't do men with breasts. And I don't mean that as unkind to Colin Montgomerie'."

Oh, of course; no offense, Monty, you man-boob freak. I'm guessing it's safe to assume Phil Mickelson's out as well? (Of course he is.)

via the Sporting Blog