Philadelphia Phillies World Series Parade Plans Now Official; Straight <strike>Up</strike> Down Broad St., Son

The Philadelphia Phillies -- and the city of Philadelphia -- caught a lot of heat because there was a discussion of World Series parade plans ... before the Phillies actually won the World Series.

But now, of course, they've capped off a pretty amazing season with a World Series win, so it's time to ~~riot~~ ~~burn Philly to the ground~~ celebrate in a calm and dignified manner.

And per Mayor Michael Nutter on MyFox Philly, the legions of Illadelphians that have been dying for a championship parade will finally get theirs this Friday "about noon."

It is to begin at noon Friday at 20th and Market Streets and travel south down Broad Street ending at the sports complex.

Those attending are encouraged to take public transportation.

For those of you who stink at reading between the lines, "encouraged to take public transportation" means "we will arrest you for a DUI, jackass." Nutter also pointed out that he wanted "No negative nonsense out there," meaning that he understood the high likelihood of Philadelphians getting too excited and getting out of control.

Fortunately, there won't be too many children hanging around when all this happens though, because the city has decided not to cancel school. Which, safety issues aside, is just patently ridiculous. Sure, the city might catch on fire tomorrow afternoon, but a major sports championship parade is a once in a lifetime thing in a city like Philly.