Now In Baseball Cards: Dead Celebrity Hair

When I was a kid, I collected baseball cards. I loved reading the stats, seeing the pictures, keeping binders full of them -- everything about them, really.

I still remember winning a pack of "gold cards" from a scratch-off and waiting impatiently for six weeks for the cards to come in the mail (it was a lot like Calvin waiting for his propeller beanie). It's probably those fond memories of mine that have me scratching my head when I read about card collecting today.

I should probably be careful when I scratch my head, though, because if I accidentally scratch some hair off, there's a chance that Upper Deck will collect a sample of my hair and raffle it away in a pack of baseball cards, should I happen to become famous enough.

Yeah, that's not a typo, and that link goes to the Wall Street Journal, not The Onion. Upper Deck is giving away packs of baseball cards with chances to win a strand of hair from historical figures like Abraham Lincoln, while Topps is giving away "DNA cards" that contain the hair of George Washington and Charles Dickens.

Who, exactly, are they selling these cards to? I know that the internet and video games have killed card collecting and, honestly, if I was born in 1995 instead of 1985, I probably would have never collected cards myself. But where is the connection between baseball card collectors and dead celebrity hair enthusiasts? Frankly, winning a piece of Abaham Lincoln's hair is creepy. And with no real way to prove the hair is his, how much is it worth?

Rather than coming up with ways to revive their flagging industry, it seems like these companies are just throwing whatever they can find in a pack of cards and hoping they accidentally strike gold. I may only be a blogger, but that seems like a poor business model.

Did You See That?

The field clears a fence during the New Season Handicap Steeplechase during the at Ludlow Racecourse on September 16, 2008 in Ludlow, England.

Emanuele Canonica of Italy helps his caddie in the rescue of a pigeon from the water around the 18th green during the first round of the Portugal Masters at the Oceanico Victoria Golf Course on October 16, 2008 in Vilamoura, Portugal.

A multiexposure image showing Britain's Andy Murray returning to Croatian Marin Cilic during a last sixteen tennis match at the Madrid Masters in Madrid on October 16, 2008. Andy Murray won 7-5, 7-6.

English football fans dressed in armours and tunics play in a friendly match against Belarus fans in Minsk on October 15, 2008 before the start of the Belarus vs. England 2010 FIFA World Cup qualifier of European group 6 match.

Travis Brigley (R) of Hamburg fights with Matt Keith (L) of Ingolstadt during the DEL match between Hamburg Freezers and ERC Ingolstadt at the Color Line Arena on October 14, 2008 in Hamburg, Germany.

Russian Nikolay Davydenko returns a ball to US Robby Ginepri during a second round tennis match at the Masters in Madrid on October 15, 2008.

A golf ball which has been enveloped by the tree over many years is pictured during the pro-am for the Portugal Masters at the Oceanico Victoria Golf Course on October 15, 2008 in Vilamoura, Portugal.

Andy Murray of Great Britain plays football during his training session prior to his thrid round match tomorrow at the Madrid Masters tennis tournament at the Madrid Arena on October 15, 2008 in Madrid, Spain.

Samuel Peter from Nigeria gets a punch from Vitali Klitschko of Ukraine during their WBC heavyweight boxing world championship fight in Berlin, Germany, Saturday, Oct. 11, 2008. Klitschko won the fight after round nine due to technical knock out.

Herbert Knosowski, AP

Japan's Kyoko Hamaguchi (lower) fights with China's Hong Yan (red) during the semi-final of the 72kg class of the Women's Wrestling World Championships in Tokyo on October 13, 2008. Hong defeated Hamaguchi and will face Bulgaria's Stanka Zlateva in the final.

Yoshikazu Tsuno, AFP/Getty Images