Texas' Stylish Road to the Big 12 Title

Texas doesn't need any sort of coaching genius from Mack Brown Thursday night against Texas A&M. It doesn't need defensive coordinator Will Muschamp to make Buddy Ryan feel a little blue. It couldn't even be helped if the spirit of Vince Lombardi gave the pre-game speech and rode Bevo out to challenge the Aggies at midfield.

Texas doesn't need any of that.

Texas needs Brooke Burke.

With an edge in the BCS polls so thin it probably wears pants with one belt loop, the Longhorns need style and they need to win the popular vote.

So who better than the stylish winner of America's other favorite popularity contest?

Texas needs the Dancing With the Stars champion.

The Longhorns got their wish last weekend when Oklahoma knocked off undefeated Texas Tech to turn the race for the Big 12 South title and the inside track to the BCS title into a three-way photo finish. But the Sooners did the job all too well, burying the Red Raiders upright in the ground and then using them to vault over Texas into the status of favorites for the Big 12 South title.

So, what was simple math before Week 13 has now become calculus with no eraser.

Here's how it stands:

If only Texas loses to Texas A&M, the Big 12 South is decided between Oklahoma and Texas Tech with the Sooners advancing by virtue of their head-to-head win. If only Oklahoma loses, the Red Raiders advance over the Longhorns. If only Texas Tech loses, Texas advances. If all three win, the decision comes down to the highest BCS standing, which is itself two-thirds influenced by the voters, and, we think, the head of household deduction is then multiplied by two and subtracted from Bob Stoops' gross adjusted income.

Leave it to college football to need an owner's manual to figure out a championship game.

But fortunately for the Longhorns, they've got a whole night to make their argument, assuming the Aggies or tryptohan overload don't topple the apple cart. And with no other competition for eyeballs, it'll be less an argument and more a four-hour monologue.

So here's what we need to see out of Texas unless they want their Thanksgiving to be more awkward than the Bowdens'.

Fine Tune the Running Game: Unless you're Florida (or possibly LSU for entirely different reasons), the best use of your quarterback isn't taking hits like a batting practice fastball. The Longhorns have seemingly turned over every pebble, rock and small mountain to find a consistent ball carrier. Four different running backs have 226 or more yards, yet the leading rusher is quarterback Colt McCoy with 527. Vondrell McGee, Chris Ogbonnaya, Fozzy Whittaker and Cody Johnson have all taken their hacks, but due to injuries, schemes and a different reason every week, none has become a full-time replacement for last year's starter Jamaal Charles. Ogbonnaya gashed the Sooners for 127 yards in the Red River win, 119 of which came in the second half, but he's rushed for just 113 yards since. Whittaker, the muscular redshirt freshman who at his best runs like a particularly angry cannon ball, may represent the Longhorns' best shot. Texas will certainly have an opportunity to run wild, the Aggies rush defense is the nation's fifth worst, even in the pass-happy Big 12.



Find a Consistent Third Receiver: Tight end Blaine Irby played his last snap of the season in Week 4 and the Horns' rhythm section lost a key player behind stars Quan Cosby and Jordan Shipley. Freshman Malcolm Williams has big-play potential and the Longhorns sorely need it to keep opposing defenses from keying on Cosby and Shipley and beating them around like a heavy bag with a helmet on. And Williams' field-stretching ability lets the Longhorns open up its otherwise middling ground game. Get Williams and Brandon Collins going, and the duo can put the bite in the Texas four wide receiver sets that caused Oklahoma's defense to collapse.



Get Defensive in Primetime: The Longhorns can easily put up something akin to a golf score on Texas A&M, but big-time offenses are as much a differentiator in the Big 12 as a black and yellow paint job is for New York cabs. Offense is simply expected. What made Texas' Red River victory over Oklahoma so meaningful wasn't the 45 points the Longhorns put up but the 35 they held Oklahoma to, despite Sam Bradford's five touchdown afternoon. Another 15 tackle-for-loss night like the Longhorns' win over Kansas or the 71-yard passing effort the Longhorns permitted Baylor, on a night where Texas is the only game on TV, could go a long way toward erasing the image of Texas Tech's Michael Crabtree ripping the game-winning pass between two Longhorn defensive backs and running into the end zone.


But whatever you do Texas, do it with lots of style.

Like maybe a tango to celebrate the win. After all, it worked for Brooke Burke.