NFL Fines Joey Porter for Talking Trash, Using Jedi Mind Tricks

Near the end of last week's Patriots-Dolphins tilt, and after the game had pretty much been decided, Miami's Channing Crowder and New England's Matt Light shared a moment. Specifically, Light tried to yank out Crowder's weave while Crowder did his best to get away.

Ultimately, both players were fined $15,000 because, as everybody knows, pulling hair is just as offensive as having your hair pulled. And even though Crowder and Channing were the only players taking part in the extracurriculars, we learn that the NFL has subsequently fined Joey Porter. No idea if he did anything wrong, but it's probably safe to assume that he was guilty of something. Actually, his gum-flapping incited the whole melee. From the Miami Herald (courtesy of MDS at PFT):

The league hit Dolphins linebacker Joey Porter with a $7,500 fine for unsportsmanlike conduct during the fourth quarter of Sunday's loss to the Patriots. Porter was fined specifically for verbally abusing the opponent after the play was over.

Porter was penalized twice in the fourth quarter, once for unnecessary roughness and again for unnecessary roughness. Players had been warned by referees as tempers began to flare that inappropriate behavior would be punished.

On Monday Pats guard Logan Mankins dutifully pointed the finger at Porter for turning Light from Bruce Banner into a hair-pulling Hulk, and the league office has responded by fining Mr. Peezy $7,500.

To summarize: the NFL Gestapo continues their assault on civil liberties, and trash-talking has gone the way of dancing, tackling and, oddly enough, mascots. Next up: punishing players for their naughty thoughts.