
As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light of meaning in the darkness of mere being.
- C.G. Jung,
Memories, Dreams, Reflections (h/t Alan Moore)
We at The Dugout are still processing
Kyle Farnsworth's new status as a Kansas City Royal. One step at a time, I suppose.
If you haven't already, read B's
Part One of this story before you read Part Two.
It's after the jump.
The Dugout
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**OnlineHost** Welcome to Mars Chat!
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: holy s*** i'm on mars
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PECOTA: OF COURSE! IT IS HERE ON! MARS; THAT WE WILL DEBATE THE ROYALS' DESTINY!
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: well just bein here is given me problems ok
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: i am traipsen about god dam mars with the main bad guy from the end of "big fat liar"
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: an yer bufft naked, an that wouldnt be so bad if yer ding dong an balls didnt look like a nazi hand grenade
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PECOTA: WHY! DOES IT DISTRESS YOU?
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: oh i don't know maybe because i managed to survive a wichita fortnight with the yankees without seein infielder penis
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: an i get traded to the kansas city baseball royals an bam, im on another planet, standen under a massive k'nex set, staren at yer meat puppet
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PECOTA: WE'RE ALL PUPPETS! I'M JUST A PUPPET! WHO CAN SEE THE STRINGS!
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: i feel like i'm in a f***en "learn how to make yer own video games" commercial
this is boring
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: /pulls out pocket travel Simon
/mashes buttons
wtf why isnt this worken
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PECOTA: BECAUSE! THERE IS NO FUTURE! THERE IS! NO PAST! THERE IS NO SEQUENCE! THERE IS! NO FUN IN THE CHALLENGE, SIMON! THERE IS! NO TAKING THE SIMON CHALLENGE, SIMON!
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: well thanks for messen up my game, why dont you go 696 with the other nymphos from the blued man group
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PECOTA: TIME IS SIMULTANEOUS!; AN INTRICATELY STRUCTURED JEWEL! THAT HUMANS INSIST ON VIEWING ONE EDGE AT A TIME;
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PECOTA: WHEN THE WHOLE DESIGN IS VISIBLE! IN EVERY FACET!!!
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PECOTA: WHAT? IS YOUR EARLIEST MEMORY?
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: um
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: holy s*** i'm on mars
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PECOTA: OH COME ON
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: alright uh
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: at
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: least
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: i'm
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: not
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: in
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: kansas city,
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: that would
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: f***en blow
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: this f***en blows
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PECOTA: ...
I BROUGHT YOU HERE! TO HELP ME FIND A REASON TO HELP A TEAM! THAT I NO LONGER HAVE ANY STAKE IN!
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: you sound like jeter, he was always tryen to find someone to put his steak into
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PECOTA: YOU! HAVE BEEN NO HELP!
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: im not gonna be yer shirley watchman
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FerrisBuhnersDayOff: hey guys
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PECOTA: JAY BUHNER! WHAT? ARE YOU DOING HERE?
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FerrisBuhnersDayOff: i don't know, just kind of fell off the face of the earth one day, eventually ended up here
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FerrisBuhnersDayOff: you think maybe you could give me a lift back to earth
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PECOTA: EH
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