Tiger Woods' Caddie Tells Stories of Phil Mickelson's Man Boobs

We're only a month away from the start of the 2009 PGA Tour season, but we probably won't see Tiger Woods until March at the earliest. The world's No. 1 player is still rehabbing the knee he blowed up while winning the U.S. Open last June.

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RNPS IMAGES OF THE YEAR 2008....Tiger Woods celebrates sinking a birdie putt on the 18th hole to force a playoff with Rocco Mediate during the fourth round of the U.S. Open golf championship at Torrey Pines in San Diego June 15, 2008. REUTERS/Robert Galbraith (UNITED STATES)

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RNPS IMAGES OF THE YEAR 2008....U.S. golfer Tiger Woods walks up the second fairway during the Pro-Am at the Buick Invitational on the south course at Torrey Pines in San Diego January 23, 2008. Woods will compete in the Buick Invitational when the field tees-off January 24th. REUTERS/Mike Blake (UNITED STATES)

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Tiger Woods (L) watches the Tampa Bay Buccaneers play the Minnesota Vikings at Raymond James Stadium in Tampa, Florida, November 16, 2008. REUTERS/Pierre DuCharme(UNITED STATES)

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Golfer Tiger Woods watches the NFL football game between the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Minnesota Vikings from the sidelines during the third quarter Sunday, Nov. 16, 2008, in Tampa, Fla. (AP Photo/Steve Nesius)

NAPIER, NEW ZEALAND - OCTOBER 28: Tiger Woods' caddie Steve Williams of New Zealand commentates during The Kiwi Challenge at Cape Kidnappers on October 28, 2008 in Napier, New Zealand. (Photo by Phil Walter/Getty Images)

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LOS ANGELES, CA - OCTOBER 12: Golfer Tiger Woods attends Game Three between the Los Angeles Dodgers and the Philadelphia Phillies in the National League Championship Series during the 2008 MLB playoffs on October 12, 2008 at Dodger Stadium in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images)

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LOS ANGELES, CA - OCTOBER 12: With Manny Ramirez #99 of the Los Angeles Dodgers on deck golfer Tiger Woods stands with owner (R) Frank McCourt of the Dodgers and wife Jamie McCourt who is the vice chairman and president of the Dodgers as they take on the Philadelphia Phillies in Game Three of the National League Championship Series during the 2008 MLB playoffs on October 12, 2008 at Dodger Stadium in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Jeff Gross/Getty Images)

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LOS ANGELES, CA - OCTOBER 12: (L) Golfer Tiger Woods stands with owner (R) Frank McCourt of the Los Angeles Dodgers and wife Jamie McCourt who is the vice chairman and president of the Dodgers as they take on the Philadelphia Phillies in Game Three of the National League Championship Series during the 2008 MLB playoffs on October 12, 2008 at Dodger Stadium in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Jeff Gross/Getty Images)

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Woods' caddie, Steve Williams, has used the time off to return to his native New Zealand, race some cars (he owns a team), spend time with his family, and raise money for charity. And it was at a recent charity event that the sometimes surly Williams gave arguably the best golf-related interview not involving John Daly in the 500-year history of the sport.

Speaking with the Taranaki Daily News' Murray Hills, Williams shared this gem:

It's also a well-known fact that Woods and American Phil "Mr Nice Guy" Mickelson are not the best of buddies. Williams told a story of Woods and Mickelson paired together during the US Open. The pair were duelling for the lead in the third round. Tiger waved to a packed grandstand seating 5000 people that bordered the 17th fairway. The crowd responded.

As a hush fell back over the crowd, a fan yelled out "Phil." No response from Mickelson. Again the fan yelled out "Phil." Again no response. The fan changed tack. "Hey, Mr Mickelson."

When Mickelson turned and waved, the fan yelled out "Nice t*ts." The crowd erupted in laughter; Mickelson went double bogey, bogey and his tournament was over.

To be fair, they're not even that nice. Still, it's quite possibly the funniest story I've heard today. The thing is, Philbert claimed he lost 20 pounds leading up to the event. I can't imagine the catcalls if he showed up looking more buxom. Maybe next year, the USGA will see fit to pair Lefty with Colin Montgomerie.

Williams also added this: "I wouldn't call Mickelson a great player ... 'cause I hate the pr*ck." Which goes a long way in explaining why he told the story about Mickelson's ample rack.

And while we're all having fun at Phil's expense, here's a question: what does Tiger think of all this? Didn't Camp Tiger fire Fluff Cowan for getting too comfortable with the media? I get the sense that Eldrick is closer to Williams than he was to Fluff -- and relies on him more -- and he might give Stevie more leeway as a result. That said, Woods has never been big on drawing attention to himself when it wasn't about golf.

Via Press Tent