If You Had Week 17 in the 'MITTENS Will Play' Pool, You Win

The Lord works in mysterious ways, indeed. According to the New York Post's Paul Schwartz, MITTENS (just in case you need an explanation) will play in the Giants' regular-season finale. New York wrapped up homefield advantage with last Sunday night's victory over Carolina. And after the starters play two or three series against the Vikings, we'll all be afforded the opportunity to revel in the awesomeness that is David Carr.

There are too-numerous-to-list-here examples of what makes MITTENS wildly popular, but basically, it comes down to this: he was the first overall pick in the 2002 draft, he wears mittens, and he's not very good. Even with the Giants' season decided, Carr still has something to play for: mittens lovers everywhere. And his father-in-law, a hardcore Bears fan who needs the Vikings to lose to keep Chicago's postseason hopes alive.

Dispensing with the pleasantries, Schwartz gets right to the point.

Does anyone even remember that Carr is on the team? His signing in early March caused a slight ripple because of his resume: the No. 1 overall pick of the Texans in the 2002 NFL Draft, a hotshot quarterback out of Fresno State selected as the cornerstone of a new franchise. It didn't quite work out.

Carr was sacked an NFL-record 76 times as a rookie and it never got much better. He was sent packing after five miserable seasons in Houston, hooked on as a backup in Carolina last year before the Giants plucked him off the scrap heap to serve as Eli Manning's understudy.

To answer Schwartz's question: yeah, I'm guessing this guy remembers.

As for what we should expect from Carr on Sunday, I'll conservatively go with one touchdown, two picks and 25 sacks. And mittens for everybody, naturally.

* this post made possible through the kind contributions of Mr. Mittens.