Nothing says "the holidays" like a feature on a blog on the Internet the day after Christmas! I missed out on posting yesterday because of "life stuff" (I had to observe a holiday) but hey, better late than never, right?

Part three of our Life on Mars epic continues. Your prerequisites are as follows:

Watchmaker, Part One
Watchmaker, Part Two
Watchmaker, Part Three (click below)

The Dugout

	PECOTA: WAIT! THEY REVEALED THE TRUE ORIGIN! OF WOLVERINE? WHEN!
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: like seven years ago what, were you an miguel asencio too busy reenactin "league of extra ordinary gentle men" on outer space to read a comic
	PECOTA: WAS IT COOL!
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: it was a comic book in 2001 what makes you think it was cool
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: no basicly what they did is make wolferine into little house on the prairie accept nellie olsen was sabertooth also he becomes a cage fighter in the 18th century of canada
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: also his real name is "james"
	PECOTA: OH THAT IS PRETTY GAY
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: normally if the palette swap for DEN callt somethen gay i would have a laff and one half but you are right, wolferine: origin is strate up same-sex union'd
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: but anyway the point i was maken is that jesus christ's origin is as convoluted as the x-men
	PECOTA: I DO NOT BELIEVE IN GOD BECAUSE THE CONCEPT OF GOD IS INCOHERENT, BELIEF IN GOD IS IRRATIONAL, AND BELIEF IN GOD LEADS TO A DANGEROUS "US VS. THEM" MENTALITY!
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: yeah an i dont believe in god because im stupid
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: oh sh** speaken of jesus what day is it, is it christmas argh i wish there were a websight that would tell me
	PECOTA: THIRTEEN DAYS AGO WE ARE IN VALLES SEATTLE MARINERIS, TRANSPORTING JAY BUHNER! INTO THE DELTA QUADRANT!
	PECOTA: FIFTY DAYS FROM NOW! LENNY DINARDO WILL REPORT TO ROYALS SPRING TRAINING! FIFTY DAYS AND 22 SECONDS FROM NOW! SOMEONE WILL CALL HIM LENNY! THE NARDO!
	PECOTA: ON EARTH, IT IS DECEMBER! 26TH!
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: aw cheese an [sex]burgers i mist christmas day and eve i mist the combo of "christmas dave"
	PECOTA: I DO NOT UNDERSTAND!
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: my son is gonna be so pist at me he will grab holt of his destiny an become the man he was ment to be by throwen rocks at me until ive died
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: for a guy whats spost to be teachen me, youve got a lot to learn, pecooter shouldent you be on earth protectoraten baseball's innocents or some sh**
	PECOTA: NO -- DEBATING THE MIDDLE RELIEF IN SPACE IS WHAT I AM FOCUSED ON RIGHT NOW BESIDES! BASEBALL WILL BE FINE WITHOUT ME! IF ONLY FOR A LITTLE WHILE!
	Online Host Meanwhile, on Earth
	BetweenHeavenAndHal: ...except instead of gold coins, we fill up the Scrooge McDuck money bin we've built for you with diamonds, and every time you swim down ten feet you hit a new Victoria's Secret Model
	HanksForNothing: we dress up Yogi Berra like Launchpad, and he wipes the sweat from your brow with Alex Rodriguez's contract
	BetweenHeavenAndHal: he does the same to your ass, situationally
	HanksForNothing: On top of that, we firebomb Baltimore to the ground
	TeixMeix: /gets erection /knocks over bat rack
	Online Host Back on Mars...
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: did you never know a christmas, pagoda?
	PECOTA: OUR HEARTS GROW TENDER! WITH CHILDHOOD MEMORIES OF LOVE! OF KINDRED!
	PECOTA: AND WE ARE BETTER! THROUGHOUT THE YEAR FOR HAVING! IN SPIRIT! BECOME A CHILD AGAIN AT CHRIST-MAS-TIME!
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: bill you can bring me to nude mars and conversate me but if you quote laura ingals wilder in my presents again i will intrinsic field experiment test chamber you in the god dam heart
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: lol hey
	PECOTA: WHAT
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: ozymandias' jungle beast was calt "bubastis," that is hilarious its got both "boob" and "ass" in the name an almost tits at the end
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: isent that funny
	PECOTA: WHO THE F*** IS OZYMANDIAS
	Online Host Meanwhile, on Earth...
	BetweenHeavenAndHal: 180 million dollars over the next two years
	HanksForNothing: We will let you play "pitcher!"
	BetweenHeavenAndHal: you will be our 26th pitcher! You'll pitch one inning every two and a half months!
	HanksForNothing: And you get to keep the 90 million dollars regardless!
	DogGarnett: But I don't even play baseball.
	BetweenHeavenAndHal: what a lazy thug!
	HanksForNothing: /pulls offer off table
	HanksForNothing: nah I'm just kidding, here is 180 million dollars
	Online Host Back on Mars...
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: is it all goen to be okay?
	PECOTA: YES! CHRISTMAS IS FOR CHILDREN, BUT IT IS FOR GROWN-UPS TOO! EVEN IF IT IS A HEADACHE! A CHORE! A NIGHTMARE!
	PECOTA: IT IS A PERIOD OF NECESSARY DEFROSTING OF CHILL AND HIDE-BOUND HEARTS!
	PECOTA: YOUR SON WILL FORGIVE YOU! YOU ARE A MILLIONAIRE! THAT MAKES IT PRETTY EASY!
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: of course i am a millionaire no i wasent talken about christmas i was talken about baseball
	PECOTA: WHAT IS WRONG? WITH BASEBALL!
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: i dont know man but i got the gitchy that somethen bad is goen down that is goen to eff baseball in the a
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: i dont think ive won enough pulitzers prizes with my blog to be taken seriously but the players union is gonna keep on until folks is throwen rocks at bud selig and burnen down citifield
	PECOTA: THE PLAYERS UNION IS A GOOD THING! IT ALLOWS FOR FAIR TREATMENT OF PLAYERS!
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: the players union is a same-sex union an all i ever got from it was a job an a dozen million bones
	PECOTA: /stares
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: stop looken at me like that tobias, your the one whos been off a earth too long
	PECOTA: ALL RIGHT THEN GOB, LETS TAKE A LOOK AT EARTH /teleports to Earth
	Online Host Meanwhile, on Earth...
	BetweenHeavenAndHal: We're interested in your services, and although you're semi-retired we haven't considered you an impossibility.
	HanksForNothing: so the official offer is "we will give you a sandwich if you play baseball for us."
	CorkyRomano: I ASSEP YOUR OFFER WITH GRAY HUMILITY
	PECOTA: BUH
	Online Host Back on Mars...
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: /stares off into outer space
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: /draws crude outline of christmas tree in lunar sands
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: sighhh
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: /stomps on christmas tree

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