**OnlineHost** Next!

Jaybellwocky: hullo

**OnlineHost** Rick Moranis?

Jaybellwocky: pfft i wish, i'm jay bell

**OnlineHost** All right, let's hear some Hall of Fame credentials.

Jaybellwocky: well i had a career OPS+ of 101, which means i was just barely above average at the plate

Jaybellwocky: and i won a gold glove one time

Jaybellwocky: and i achieved this mountain of accomplishments despite looking like your grandma

**OnlineHost** Great! Awesome! Get the Hell out of here!

Jaybellwocky: shucks

/hobbles out with conjoined twin

AreYouJeffKingKiddingMe: ugh i'm too tired to walk

Jaybellwocky: don't even try that excuse, i've let you use the pancreas all day

**OnlineHost** Next!

Donald_Baseball: No introduction is necessary. I'm Don Mattingly.

Don. Freaking. Mattingly.

**OnlineHost** That was an introduction.

Donald_Baseball: And you know why they called me "Donnie Baseball"?

**OnlineHost** Because your name is Don and you played baseball.

Donald_Baseball: No doubt.

**OnlineHost** Well, since you're not playing baseball anymore and you're just some dude now, I'm just going to call you "Donnie Human Being."

**OnlineHost** And sorry, no dice. You had four really awesome years and then turned into Jeff Blauser.

Donald_Baseball: Nuh-uh! I won nine Gold Gloves!

**OnlineHost** Do you have any idea how irrelevant Gold Gloves are? The other day I took a dump and found three of them in my poop. Next!

RonGantswer: Hi, I'm Ron Gant. I am on the Hall of Fame ballot.

RonGantswer: /sits down

RonGantswer: pffft

hahahaha

**OnlineHost** ahahahaha

RonGantswer: HAHAHA

**OnlineHost** HA

RonGantswer: /leaves

**OnlineHost** that f***in guy cracks me up

**OnlineHost** Next!

MoVaughn.org: /waddles in

**OnlineHost** Credentials, please.

MoVaughn.org: Well, I was one of the better hitters in the game for a few years, but I fizzled out early. My career stats don't really merit induction.

MoVaughn.org: BUT

I have eaten several major league players. I don't know how stats work, but I think it's only fair that I should absorb a guy's statistics if I eat him.

**OnlineHost** Well, who have you eaten?

MoVaughn.org: hmm

I ate a few utility infielders, but they tasted too gritty. Oh, and I ate Candy Maldonado. That's like 150 home runs right there.

**OnlineHost** Tell you what. That's still a borderline case, but you can always take the next year or so to bolster your resume. Cannibalize Kelly Gruber or somebody, then we'll talk.

MoVaughn.org: Fair enough.

/attempts to exit chat room

/is too fat to exit chat room

MoVaughn.org: ugh

**OnlineHost** Need some help?

MoVaughn.org: yeah, thanks

**OnlineHost** /shove

MoVaughn.org: urrrrrgggh

**OnlineHost** All right, let's try again. On three.

**OnlineHost**
one
two
three
/shove

MoVaughn.org: URRRRRGGGH

**OnlineHost** Mo Vaughn has been shoved out of the chat room.