LOOK: Amazing Underwater Photos Of Dogs
Rick Santorum's Wife Sued Doctor For $500,000 In 1999
The New Years Eve edition of the Dugout could've very easily been Delmon and Dmitri Young choking the hell out of a Baby New Year, but I wanted to see the "Roger Clemens Implicated In The Mitchell Report" graphic one more time before the ball dropped. Hello again, old friend.For the next rotted rung on the Roger Clemens Ladder to Hell, a Houston area hospital has decided to remove Roger's name from the sports medicine institute he paid for. You couldn't remove Roger's name from that report to the right? You couldn't remove it from Mindy McCready's (assumedly) gigantic 80s looking Zack Morris cell phone?
The last Dugout of the year is after the jump.
The Dugout
 |
OldLOL: /wipes open wound with cotton ball 2008 was the worst year of my life, but i'm tellin ya, randy, 2009 is my year |
|---|---|
 |
RandyHendricksExperience: You don't say. |
|
OldLOL: yep, i would be able to feel it in my bones if i could look down at my body and tell where any of them were |
|
OldLOL: already getting excited for the roger clemens national celebrity golf tournament, i got a driver cover that looks like a dogs diagonal ass |
|
RandyHendricksExperience: Bad news about the golf tournament, Rocket. |
|
OldLOL: oh no did joanna "jojo" levesque pull out |
|
RandyHendricksExperience: Ehh, no. The Shadow Hawk Golf Club has declined your offer to host, they're moving on with you. |
|
OldLOL: what is it because of all the drugs i did |
|
RandyHendricksExperience: It doesn't say, but in the press release they call you a rapist and threaten to break your spine. |
|
OldLOL: i bet its because of john daly that guy looks like brett favre on the axiom, its aint my fault his wife stumbled into my thrusting crotch |
|
OldLOL: allegedly stumbled into my thrusting crotch |
|
RandyHendricksExperience: I'm still trying to understand how Roger Clemens could be a physical upgrade. |
|
OldLOL: no seriously he looks like the fat guy from heavyweights, i bet he smokes ham in those cigarettes |
|
OldLOL: at least we still have the roger clemens-themed restaurant "quaker steak & roger clemens" |
|
RandyHendricksExperience: At least you let me change it from "Roger Clemens & Lube." But no, bad news about that, too. |
|
OldLOL: oh great do they suddenly not allow drug abuse in restaurants either |
|
RandyHendricksExperience: The restaurant plans have been scrapped, our developers didn't like you being in a relationship with a 15-year old girl. |
|
OldLOL: but now where will houston area diners be able to get a 9 dollar basket of sh*ty mozzarella sticks |
|
OldLOL: thats disappointing, we were gonna put up roger clemens memorabilia mcnamee said he had boxes and boxes of my old stuff, we were gonna staple it all to the walls for the peoples to enjoy |
|
RandyHendricksExperience: I don't think the families would've enjoyed seeing your needles and scabby ass-swabs, Rocket. |
|
RandyHendricksExperience: Besides, if people wanted blood and strange chemicals dripping into their food they could just eat at a Chili's. |
|
OldLOL: man i busted my big wet ass at baseball for 20+ years is this all i'm gonna be remembered for, drugs and teen sex |
|
OldLOL: who am i, miley cyrus |
|
RandyHendricksExperience: At lest 2009 is going to be your year. |
|
OldLOL: that's right, an when i'm dead people can look at the sports medicine institute at memorial hermann an see my name, an know i did something good with my life |
|
RandyHendricksExperience: /taps pencil against desk |
|
OldLOL: no way |
|
RandyHendricksExperience: They're taking your name off starting January 1st, "to better reflect its commitment to all sports and athletes." |
|
OldLOL: since when has a hospital given a sh** about what mindy mccready does |
|
OldLOL: my name is coming off completely?? |
|
RandyHendricksExperience: Well sure. What're they going to call it, the "Rog Emens Institute?" |
|
OldLOL: i would rather them call it the "roger clemens is a fat gay institute of rapeology" or something than take my name completely off |
|
OldLOL: i helped out a lot of people with the money i gave them, a lot of people have had a second chance because i decided to do somethin selfless with the blessings i'd been given |
|
RandyHendricksExperience: For once. |
|
OldLOL: yeah for once, but for once for real |
|
OldLOL: guilty before proven innocent an suddenly everything good ive done gets erased |
|
OldLOL: what a pisser sigh |
|
RandyHendricksExperience: Yeah, sigh. |
|
OldLOL: oh well 2009 is gonna be my year, and to quote dan fogleberg, "auld lang syne" |
|
OldLOL: life goes on in 5 |
|
OldLOL: 4 |
|
OldLOL: 3 |
|
OldLOL: 2 |
|
OldLOL: /looks at watch sh** wait its only 11 o'clock |
Santorum Called Himself A 'Progressive Conservative' In 1990
Congress Agrees On Payroll Tax Cut, Unemployment Extension
Most Inmates In Honduras Prison Fire Were Not Convicted
'Colbert Report' Abruptly Suspends Production For The Week
Relintless: Knicks Run Winning Streak To Seven Games
Scott Brown: Elizabeth Warren Has Assumed The 'Mantle Of Oppressor'
Source: Michigan Governor To Endorse Romney
SEC Official: Common Wall St. Conversations Carry 'Troubling' Potential For Abuse
RECOVERING THE RECOVERY: A Good Sign For American Jobs
Oklahoma Senate Approves 'Personhood' Bill
Kennedy Launches Campaign
More iPads Reportedly Seized In China
Jimmy Carter Casts Movement As 'Relatively Successful'
Should Homeless People Be Sheltered Or Diverted? Obama Budget Renews Debate
WATCH: MSNBC Host's Extremely Harsh Attack On Santorum
Over 1,000 Old Detroit Rape Kits To Be Tested
Semi Truck's Tires Explode Through Front door, Land In Kitchen
Canadian Businessman Convicted Of Raping woman In New York Hotel Room
Actress In Controversial China Political Ad Apologizes
National Group Seeks To Shape Walker Recall Contest
Catholic Leadership Splinters Over Obama Birth Control Compromise
Santorum Releases Tax Returns
Montana Supreme Court Collides With U.S. Supreme Court Over Citizens United
