Joe Paterno's Statue Is More Realistic, Less Hallowed Than You Think

What's your instant reaction to this bit of hijinks?

COACH Joe Paterno's glasses are classics in their own right, and now somebody has taken the glasses from the Paterno statue at Beaver Stadium.

University police reported the disappearance between Jan. 2 and 3 and are investigating it as a theft and criminal mischief.

Is it "holy crap, you can take the glasses off Joe Paterno's statue?" I think it should be, because I think of statues as large pieces of metal that you can't disassemble without a blowtorch, not fancy mannequins.

Joe Paternos Career

Joe Paterno's statue, which was erected outside Beaver Stadium in 2001 when he set the all-time wins mark for college coaches, lost a bit of its identity recently when someone stole the glasses. Click through to recap Paterno's storied career.

Pat Little, AP

Paterno, seen here in 1965, began his coaching career as an assistant coach at Penn State in 1950. He initially thought his coaching career would be short and he would enter law school.

Paterno became Penn State's head coach in 1966. He took the reigns from the retiring Rip Engle, who coached Paterno at Brown.

Penn State went 5-5 in Paterno's first year, but the school became a national powerhouse with perfect seasons in 1968 and 1969 and 11 straight bowl trips from 1973-1983.

The Nittany Lions won their first national championship following the 1982 season, beating Georgia in the Sugar Bowl. They repeated the feat in the 1986 season with an Orange Bowl win over Miami.

Paterno celebrated his 324th victory in 2001. The Lions topped Ohio State at home, 29-27, to make Paterno the winningest coach in NCAA history.

Jamie Squire, Getty Images

Paterno relinquished the lead for career wins to another veteran, Florida State's Bobby Bowden, for a stretch, but holds the record once again. Paterno also owns the record for career bowl game victories.

Jamie Squire, Getty Images

Paterno was a living legend by the start of this decade and his old-school image became stronger than ever. A string a mediocre seasons from 2000 through 2004 prompted questions though about the veteran's ability to coach in the modern age. He responded with an 11-1 record and a Big Ten title in 2005.

Jacqueline Larma, AP

Paterno suffered a severe knee injury while on the sidelines during a game at Wisconsin in 2006. He was forced to coach from a skybox for a stretch afterward.

Morry Gash, AP

Paterno, who turned 82 in December, signed a three-year extension that same month and will be on the Penn State sideline through at least 2011.

Carolyn Kaster, AP

Can you remove JoePa's shoes? His jacket? His shirt? Can you sensuously trail your finger down his chest as you reach for his belt, feeling his rock-hard bronzed abs slip past? Should I stop this train of thought about four sentences ago?

Yes, yes I should. All I know is that if I see a headline along the lines of "Paterno statue's pants, honor taken" I am going to be very, very disappointed in State College, Pennsylvania.