The Super Bowl Prop Bet 13 Step Program: Step Five, God Is Good

Yes, Eli, God is 3:1. Now thank him, please.

Super Bowl Prop Bets are as American as your mother and as addicting as, um, stuff. Will Brinson's got a program for your all-American fix.

Remember when I said we'd have fun prop bet stories? I wasn't lying. But I thought it would behoove everyone if I started the storytelling off first. Last year, I bet on the Patriots and the over. I lost. Badly. (I was debating on the Giants money line for a while, OF COURSE, but you know how that goes. Stupidity and cold feet and whatnot.) But I did win most of my prop bets. Except for one.

That's because I bet on "God." Yes, that's right. The theoretical higher power. And I got him at 3:1 no less. All the Super Bowl MVP had to do was stand up on the podium and say "I'd like to thank God for this victory" first. Didn't seem like that tough of a bet. But wouldn't you know, Eli Manning won, and since his family has obviously struck a deal with Beelzebub, I got screwed out of 30 bucks.

But you know what? I'm not angry. I got a chance to bet on God getting 3:1 odds, man. That doesn't happen often.

And this year, it's not even remotely close.

He's your standard 1:1 favorite, courtesy of BoDogLife.com.

Who will the MVP of the game thank first?
God 1:1
Teammates 2:1
Family 4:1
Coach 7:1
Doesn't thank anyone 3:1

Now obviously, God's kicking it at 1:1 because Kurt Warner drops his name more times at a press conference than my mom (a preacher) does on Sunday. Not only that, but you might also remember that Ben Roethlisberger mentioned him first after the Steelers won the AFC Championship game (which seemed, yes, odd; almost like a jab at Warner). And given the propensity of quarterbacks to win Super Bowl MVP awards, it seems pretty likely that you'll hear the Lord's name first. Still doesn't make 1:1 a bad bet though.

Next up, let's make fun of Matt Millen. That doesn't happen enough.

Will Matt Millen pick the correct team to win the Super Bowl?
Yes -270
No +210

WOW. Now, obviously this means that Millen will be picking the Steelers, or at least everyone thinks he will (he probably will do just that). But there are only four or five hard and fast rules in life. One is "don't rub another man's rhubarb." And while I don't have space to give you all of them, I will key you into the fact that "If you are given the chance to win DOUBLE your money by betting against Matt Millen, you take that chance. Every time." is definitely one of them. Look -- you don't even have to pick a team. Millen will handle the jinx for you. MAX. BET.

In fact, the best possible situation allows you to parlay the two above bets, presume divine intervention (the Big Guy won't let Millen win and not be thanked at the same time) will come raining down in the form of Warner touchdowns, and roll around in your electronic money.