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No one has lit up the baseball offseason quite like the Cleveland Indians, am I right, folks? From the signing of a Cubs infielder to the signing of a Cubs relief pitcher, all signs point to another AL Central division title and World Series Trophy for the increasingly bored-of-victory Northern Ohio sportsosphere.

Today's Wahoo Messenger is after the jump!

The Dugout

	PostcardsFromTheWedge: So, what does everyone think?
	DatzEntertainment: I think a tell-all book about your experiences with the Indians is a great idea, skip.
	PrincipledSkinner: And it's a great way to get back at the organization that betrayed you by keeping you employed as coach for so long.
	SoloffShotgun: What can Joe Torre accomplish that you can't? I can't think of a single thing!
	TeleVangelos: idea is very niiiiiice!!!!
	PhillieFauxnatic: /distributes high-fives
	PostcardsFromTheWedge: Then everyone in my inner circle agrees! And we're gonna call it /holds up palms "FIELD OF HELL: The Story of Eric Wedge and the Fall of Major League Baseball"
	DatzEntertainment: Just rolls off the tongue, skip!
	PostcardsFromTheWedge: Now, all we need is some two-faced dirt on the players and we're good to go.
	DatzEntertainment: hmmmm /rubs area of face where chin should be
	PrincipledSkinner: "Grady Sizemore is an accomplished athlete who contributes positively to his team!"
	SoloffShotgun: "Ryan Garko is well-respected in the community!"
	PostcardsFromTheWedge: You stupid buffalo jockeys! "Well-respected in the community" doesn't sell books! I need some dirt!
	PhillieFauxnatic: /points to infield
	PostcardsFromTheWedge: No, I mean I need trash! I need player trash!
	PhillieFauxnatic: /points to Andy Marte
	DatzEntertainment: Things really aren't that dramatic in Cleveland, skip, we only had one steroid guy and we sent him to the Red Sox recycle bin
	PrincipledSkinner: the worst thing we had to live through was when LeBron wore the wrong hat
	PostcardsFromTheWedge: Then make something up! Slider, transcribe!
	PhillieFauxnatic: /makes your stenography fun
	DatzEntertainment: "Shin-Soo Choo isn't from South Korea, he's from NORTH Korea, and he hates our freedoms."
	DatzEntertainment: "Scott Elarton developed a dangerous obsession with the Cleveland Browns, emulated them by only winning 3 games all year"
	PrincipledSkinner: "Brian Slocum can't satisfy his girlfriend because it takes him so long to finish!"
	SoloffShotgun: "Jhonny Peralta plays such awful defense because he was born with ectrodactyly aka lobster boy hands."
	SoloffShotgun: "You can't tell when he bats because he draws finger lines on the back of his hands with a magic marker."
	TeleVangelos: Cliff Lee is JEW!
	PostcardsFromTheWedge: This is great, keep 'em coming, boys.
	SoloffShotgun: "Bob Feller stabbed Aaron Laffey with a pair of scissors for using the N-word in front of his wife."
	SoloffShotgun: "And it wasn't the N-word you're thinking of."
	PrincipledSkinner: "Grady Sizemore dives for balls he could easily catch."
	PostcardsFromTheWedge: We need more than that.
	PrincipledSkinner: Because.... Because he wants to be like Derek Jeter? No, he has a Robert Deniro Is "The Fan"-like obsession with him!
	DatzEntertainment: No, it must be worse! Grady is jealous that Derek Jeter's race is more mixed than his!
	PrincipledSkinner: Grady edited his own wikipedia page to say he was "some kind of latin"
	SoloffShotgun: "The sticks John Adams uses to bang his drum are made from the bones of his first wife, who he murdered."
	TeleVangelos: /gives double thumbs-up, and additional gestures from "borat the motion picture"
	PostcardsFromTheWedge: All right, Slider, what do we have so far?
	PhillieFauxnatic: /pulls paper out of typewriter /excitedly hands paper to Wedge
	PostcardsFromTheWedge: What's this? All you did was type "SLIDOR LOVE INDIAN" and... /looks at crumbled edges of paper Were you high-fiving the paper?
	PhillieFauxnatic: /nods head, thrusts crotch
	PostcardsFromTheWedge: grrr /crumples up paper /throws paper into waste bin /misses by several feet
	PostcardsFromTheWedge: "How To Win A Championship" by Eric Wedge.
	PostcardsFromTheWedge: Anybody here know how to win a championship?
	SoloffShotgun: no
	PrincipledSkinner: no
	DatzEntertainment: no
	TeleVangelos: no
	PhillieFauxnatic: /lies down, begins covering self with dirt

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Hot on HuffPost:

Wahoo Messenger Is The New Dugout

The Dugout

Photos link to player info. WordUpThome.com Photo Credit: Getty Images

Hot Leads

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ON FACEBOOK

News From Our Partners

Also on AOL >>>

Depp's Dames

Alicia's Evolution

Lip-Sync Fun

They Hooked You