If we haven't talked about Manny Ramirez enough in our five years of logging AIM chats across the Internet, we're about to do it again; the baseball season is about to start and Car Man-Ram doesn't have a team. One of the reasons for this is the inflated free agent market, and the increasing number of teams focusing on bolstering their benches and bullpen. Another reason Manny doesn't have a team is because his agent is the devil and everyone hates him.

I don't care if he's a goofball. I want to formally extend my offer to Manny Ramirez. I will give you every dollar I make from now until your retirement if you go play for the San Diego Surfing Dogs and I never have to hear about you or how much money you don't want to make again.

Tonight's Dugout is after the jump. You ... jerk.

The Dugout

	Online Host Welcome to the Free Agency "Deal or No Deal" Chatroom!
	mandel_king: smug grin Manny. Ramirez.
	MannyBoutTown: /does double point at Howie
	mandel_king: We started the offseason with 30 cases. All that remain are two. The L.A. Dodgers case that you chose, and the Cleveland Indians case held by the lovely Leyla.
	mandel_king: You're doing much better than the last time you were here!
	Online Host Previously on the "Deal or No Deal" Chatroom!
	mandel_king: Let's start the game! Manny, please choose a case!
	MannyTheTorpedoes: gase nummer won!!!
	mandel_king: /brings over case #1 All right, as we all know, Deal or No Deal starts with-
	KingOfPap: manny can i haev ur case
	MannyTheTorpedoes: ummmmm i dono whatull u gimme for it
	KingOfPap: idk, lunchables maxed out ultimate nachos??
	MannyTheTorpedoes: SOLED
	mandel_king: Guys, hey, you aren't supposed to do that, the game is played when Manny chooses his-
	KingOfPap: /opens case wow my case had a black carboard with "$1" writ on it
	Online Host /millionaire lights
	MannyBoutTown: yes, well, things are different now, Howie, I am having a lot of fun playing Deal or No Deal in Los Angeles
	mandel_king: If we don't get you to open a case before April you won't be playing anywhere, so! Manny Ramirez. Deal.
	mandel_king: Or no Deal.
	MannyBoutTown: /makes apprehensive game show contestant face
	mandel_king: Don't forget your friends, maybe they can help you make a decision! /points to friends and family area
	Online Host There is nobody in the friends and family area.
	MannyBoutTown: Howie... after careful consideration, I have decided to... uh... /looks into crowd
	BorasStone: /disapprovingly shakes head
	MannyBoutTown: I'm going to open my case!
	mandel_king: You've chosen to open your case from the Los Angeles Dodgers! But FIRST! Let's see what was in the Cleveland Indians case! Leyla?
	MilaniMiracle: /opens case, feigns emotion
	Online Host Inside the case is a contract offer of $0.01
	mandel_king: You know what that means! Manny, open your case!
	MannyBoutTown: /opens case
	Online Host Inside the case is a contract offer for $25,000,000
	mandel_king: Wow! What an unbelievable moment! Congratulations! I'm Howie Mandel, and from all of us at Deal or-
	MannyBoutTown: You know what, Howie? I'm gonna press my luck! NO DEAL! /covers button
	Online Host /millionaire lights
	Dealer: /craps pants
	mandel_king: Uh, Manny... smug grin That was the top dollar value on the board. There aren't any cases left. You won the game!
	MannyBoutTown: yeah I know, but if I play the percentages right I think I can get a better offer from the Dealer
	mandel_king: All right, let's see what he says... /makes worked phone call
	mandel_king: Mmhm. Yes. Yes, all right.
	MannyBoutTown: /does double point toward audience
	BorasStone: /double points back
	mandel_king: All right. /hangs up phone.
	mandel_king: Manny, the Dealer has done suicide and will not be offering you any more money.
	mandel_king: However, the offer DID go up.
	BorasStone: /pumps fist
	mandel_king: The offer is now $40,000,000, only you won't be playing baseball, you will be celebriboxing Jake from California Dreams in Atlantic City.
	MannyBoutTown: Well, forty million dollars does sound good, but... can he give me forty million to NOT box Jake from whatever??
	MannyBoutTown: I don't know Howie!!
	BorasStone: /stands up, gives double thumbs-down
	MannyBoutTown: NO DEAL, HOWIE! /closes button
	mandel_king: /lies down on floor
	GoldBonds: escuse me if you aint gonna use that briefcase may i have it
	MannyBoutTown: Why, it doesn't have any money in it, just a piece of black cardboard...
	GoldBonds: oh, no money you say sniff /wipes nose
	GoldBonds: well i could still use it to carry around my stuff
	MannyBoutTown: yeah all right /tosses case to Bonds
	GoldBonds: /lets it drop ten feet in front of him /slowly walks over, picks up case
	GoldBonds: you gonna eat them lunchables

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The Dugout

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