Subway Keeps Michael Phelps in Fold

In case you haven't heard, Michael Phelps got caught smoking weed and has admitted to it. Nobody will fault you if you didn't hear about it, because it was kept pretty hush-hush around the Internet.

Kellogg dropped Phelps after the pictures came out, but Subway, the sandwich company that tends to find its way on my coffee table three or four times a week, is planning on keeping the Olympian on staff.

"Like most Americans, and like Michael Phelps himself, we were disappointed in his behavior," Subway said in a statement. "Also like most Americans, we accept his apology. Moving forward, he remains in our plans."

Wait a quick second, Subway. "Accept his apology?" What freakin' country do you think we are? This is America. You do one thing wrong and people harp on it for years. What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think of Shia LaBeouf? Transformers star? Nope. DUI. What about Barry Bonds? Steroids. Britney Spears? Insane mother. Christian Bale? "F-ing unprofessional, man."

I'm not so sure about this Subway company right now. Forgiving and forgetting seems a little funny for my tastes.

The only thing I can think of is that they are planning a "Five Dollar, Five Dollar, Five Dollar Pot Booooonnnng" commercial. Those tricksters.