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Watchmaker, Part OneWatchmaker, Part Two
Watchmaker, Part Three
Watchmaker, Part Four
And now, thanks to our annual Spring Dugout event quickly approaching and certain free agent signings not working out exactly like we planned them to, our less-epic-than-planned conclusion to the Kyle Farnsworth/Bill Pecota on Mars Watchmaker Saga. Please read the above links before continuing if you want to know what's going on. Or just go ahead and read this one by itself, because it's going to make as much sense that way as any.
Also included is a lengthy "Making of Watchmaker" special feature, content from the Yahoo Sports released "Under the Hat," and interviews with the cast and creators. Thank you for waiting patiently for over twenty years for this, folks! Watchmaker, part five, is after the jump.
The Dugout
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PECOTA: /stands at highest point of Olympus Mons, looks at earth through binoculars |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: so has manny-faces signed with a team yet or what |
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PECOTA: OR WHAT! /angrily throws binoculars |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: how are we spost to complete a accurate retelling of watchedmen if he doesent sign with some body then squid they're city to death |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: dont tell me were gonna do it without the squid |
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PECOTA: THAT! APPEARS TO BE THE SITUATION! |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: but taken out the squids not like given spiderman orgasmic web shooters, we're missen like a forth of our parody |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: are we not doen any more tales of the blackened freighter |
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PECOTA: NO! WE'RE DOING THEM, THEY JUST WON'T BE SPLICED! INTO NORMAL DUGOUTS! |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: no black freights an no squid means no bookends for the missing writers an arists storyline either right |
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PECOTA: IT WOULD BE RENDERED MEANINGLESS! |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: so we arent usen it at all |
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PECOTA: IT TAKES LONGER TO SHOW FIRES! WHEN YOU'RE FILMING IN SLOW MOTION! |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: without the squid we dont have the missing writer so we dont have the island, so we dont really have a reason for the comedian to die and we've throwed roger mcdowell to his f***en doom for nothen |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: no missing writer a'tall, you say |
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PECOTA: NOPE! |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: man, i had all these great jokes about jay mariotti an now we cant use em |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: without comedian dyen then roarshack doesent investigate an nite owl never finds out about it an nothen happens |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: great, now we're just parodyen spiderman 3 |
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PECOTA: DO YOU WANT TO JUST GO BACK TO EARTH, SPRING TRAINING IS STARTING UP ANYWAY |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: yeah all right i've got some unfurnished business there |
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PECOTA: WAIT! /fetches binoculars MANNY! HE HAS SIGNED! |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: oh whew thank god my fears are satiated now the parody will be great |
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PECOTA: WAIT, NO, SORRY, THAT WAS ORLANDO HUDSON |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: orlando hudson |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: hey how about we do a preacher parody an we see if a shotgun under the chin can make your face look any more like a ass |
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PECOTA: /strikes nude, Christ-like pose |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: wait are we doing a parody of creed, i dont want to do a- |
| **Online Host** PECOTA and pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth have teleported back to Earth! |
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PECOTA: /suddenly appears in Royals Clubhouse
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Gilgameche: PECOTA! |
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KilaTofu: oh thank God, you came back for us! |
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PECOTA: YES! THERE IS MUCH TO DO BEFORE BASEBALL! COMMENCES! |
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TreyHillMix: Hey, where's Farnsworth? Wasn't Kyle Farnsworth with you? |
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PECOTA: OH, FARNSWORTH |
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PECOTA: HE'LL BE HERE. HE SAID HE HAD SOME "UNFINISHED BUSINESS" TO ATTEND TO... |
| **Online Host** Meanwhile, in the Farnsworth Family Chatroom... |
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st0n3_F4rnsw0rth: /stares out of window |
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PertPlus: /rummages through shoe closet |
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st0n3_F4rnsw0rth: shayla, when is daddy comin home |
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PertPlus: for the last time Stone, you ain't got a daddy, he was hit by a train |
| **Online Host** Meanwhile, in the San Francisco Giants Chatroom... |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: okay okay okay seriously though, seriously, what is your name |
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BockBockBocock: /puts hands over face |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: no really whats you're name |
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BockBockBocock: Brian. |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: brian what |
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BockBockBocock: Brian Bocock. |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: looool an when you injured your hand what did they give you to help the circulation |
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BockBockBocock: .... |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: dont leave me "hangen" dude what did they give the bocock |
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BockBockBocock: .... viagra |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: looooooooooooooooooool |
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BockBockBocock: Hey, a lot of people have to use Viagra! |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: and im sure in the late 80's a lot of kansas city women had to use the bocock, whats your point |
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: lets go over this again, hahahah, what is your name |
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