If you click the "Pirates" tag, you may be surprised to see one or more Dugouts on every page, despite the fact that we almost never do Dugouts about the Pirates. What this means is this: even people who infrequently mention the Pirates do so more than the rest of humanity. I'm going to google "Pirates blog" and get a bunch of black and yellow webpages with news about the Mets.

This afternoon's Dugout of March is after the jump. Arrrr, bottle of rum, Johnny Depp, etc.

The Dugout

	Online Host Welcome to the "1992" Pittsburgh Pirates Chatroom!
	AndradeGiant: so, what did everyone think of the movie "universal soldier," which went went to see in the theater recently
	YouGottaVarshoAss: I thought it was a non-stop thrill ride! I felt that Lundgren and Van Damme's deadly futuristic action truly represented a newer, more "universal" soldier
	DonLongSilver: meh, color me unimpressed, methinks some of the music choices were mediocre at best and the scene where Van Damme runs through a motels walls went on for far too long
	AndradeGiant: oh Donnie, you don't like anything!
	DonLongSilver: I liked "Batman Returns," which was also released recently
	RussellFanFest: I bet you didn't even see Batman Returns, I bet you stayed at home and listened to your Color Me Badd cassingles
	DonLongSilver: I've got all five hits! They are Young, Gifted & Badd!
	AndradeGiant: wow, talking on the Internet is so much easier now that we've all installed Windows 3.1
	RussellFanFest: it sure is, now my game of Wolfenstein 3D maintains a smooth, one frames per second rate while I chat
	YouGottaVarshoAss: that's cool. what do you guys think about... uh... /checks Wikipedia
	YouGottaVarshoAss: what do you think about Vice President Dan Quayle erroneously correcting a student's spelling of the word potato, indicating it should have an e at the end
	god_doumit: I don't know, but you know what's great? Playing for the Pittsburgh Pirates in 1992.
	god_doumit: We're coming off of a 98 win season, we're looking at another one, Barry Bonds is slim, healthy, and 3 HBPs away from joining the 30-30-30-30-30-30-30 club
	god_doumit: Every day is beautiful here by the surf and turf of Three Rivers Stadium!
	SurfNazisMossDie: you said it, pal. I, Andy Van Slyke, can't wait for our next game!
	god_doumit: yeah right you aren't Andy Van Slyke, I get to be Andy Van Slyke, you're Dennis Lamp
	SurfNazisMossDie: Nuh uh, you're the catcher, you're Mike LaValliere!
	god_doumit: i don't wanna be mike lavalliere, my screen name of "LaValliereBaseAreBelongToUs" doesn't fit on the line
	SurfNazisMossDie: I'm Andy Van Slyke, Eric Hinske is Cecil Espy, and Nyjer Morgan is the poorest possible hobo man's Barry Bonds
	YouGottaVarshoAss: news flash jerks, I was actually on that team, you are both Dennis Lamp
	RussellFanFest: this is ridiculous, why are we pretending we're in 1992
	AndradeGiant: because that was the last time we had a winning season. 1992. When Jay Leno took over hosting the Tonight Show.
	AndradeGiant: if we don't have a winning season this year we will join Jay Leno in sucking for the ENTIRETY of Jay Leno
	DonLongSilver: here's an interesting question, wasn't the guy who logs these chatrooms like, 12 the last time we won
	DonLongSilver: if we're to be true to the time period, shouldn't we all be talking like we're in middle school
	god_doumit: okay: poop, ass, comic books, video games, butthole boobies
	DonLongSilver: all right, I guess we've been doing it like that anyway
	RussellFanFest: Isn't there something else we could do?
	YouGottaVarshoAss: What if we got a new look bench? Or "bolstered our bullpen?"
	RussellFanFest: everybody is doing that what if we called one of the other teams and asked them to be in last place for a while? we could live like the Royals!
	god_doumit: good idea, I've got every other team in the NL Central on speed dial, hold on a second
	Online Host god_doumit has dialed up the Houston Astros.
	VanillaPudge: Houston Astros, how may I help you?
	god_doumit: yes, hello, i was wondering whether the astros could take a turn spending a season in the division cellar
	god_doumit: the toilet down here is stopped up and we wake up every morning covered in rat bites, and we've started pretending it is 1992 to... hello
	RussellFanFest: what, what did he say
	god_doumit: he hung up on me /stares at phone
	RussellFanFest: did you ask him out the internet connection while you had him on the phone
	god_doumit: sh** no I forgot

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Hot on HuffPost:

Beware the Dugouts of March: The Pittsburgh Pirates' 2009 Preview

The Dugout

Photos link to player info. (Photo Credit: Getty Images) WordUpThome.com

Hot Leads

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ON FACEBOOK

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Also on AOL >>>

Depp's Dames

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They Hooked You