...step right up and EAT the Mets!

Earlier today, blogsmith Dan Graziano (Dugout screen name: LeavesOfGraz) web logged about visiting Citi Field, the new home of the New York Mets, and reported back that all of the stadium's food is limp-wristed in nature. Excuse me, "limp-wristed in nurture." But no, the food has a faux-hawk and thinks its better than us, and I for one am not going to stand for it! I will not be attending a Mets game this season out of protest (also, I live in Ohio)!

I hope Citi Field has a big slogan on the outfield wall reading "THE STRENGTH TO EAT THERE." Tonight's Dugout is after the jump.

The Dugout

	LordsOfTheRyanChurch: /stuffs pork porchetta down gullet
	strikeout_rod: excuse me, could you please pass the moulard duck foie gras with pickled pear, it's almost time for the seventh inning stretc h
	DudleyDoWright: gee, thanks again Mr. Minaya, it's awful swell of you to let us try the new ballpark food!
	omar_goodness: You're welcome, David. I was trying to figure out what would set us apart from the new Yankee Stadium?
	omar_goodness: Then, it came to me in a dream: /holds up arms, palms out "Eating truffles while Carlos Delgado strikes out."
	omar_goodness: Johan, how is that stained-glass sushi?
	JohanSolo: omg, it is like Masaharu Morimoto is diarrheaing a f**king rainbow down my throat
	omar_goodness: Ha ha, that's great! You gonna be ready for opening day?
	JohanSolo: lol no
	strikeout_rod: What is your favorite dish, Mr. Minaya?
	omar_goodness: Well, nothing says "a hot afternoon at the ball game" quite like the pale amber eggs of the Iranian Almas caviar.
	omar_goodness: But I think my very favorite new item is the "Citi Field Burger."
	strikeout_rod: What's a Citi Field Burger?
	omar_goodness: Half a pound of ground beef cooked to order and topped with five hundred dollars in taxpayers' money
	omar_goodness: Johan! How's that shrimp dog!
	JohanSolo: whoever came up with the idea of serving the cockroach of the ocean on sweet bread is a genius
	omar_goodness: yeah, Giada de Laurentiis came up with that one
	omar_goodness: she's great to look at, but she said "SHAY-durr shay-say" instead of "cheddar cheese" so I think I hate her
	JohanSolo: mmm, this grotesque water bug still has its feelers! nom nom nom
	omar_goodness: ha ha, you been practicing real hard like you said you would?
	JohanSolo: ha ha nope
	DudleyDoWright: I can't wait to try one of the new desserts!
	DudleyDoWright: Last year I went to the concession stand and bought two ice creams, but by the time I got back into the dugout they'd melted all over me and it was miserable
	DudleyDoWright: from now on, everything I eat is gonna be served in a little upside down helmet!
	omar_goodness: the new stadium will have crème brulée, tiramisu with fresh blackberries, and something called a "New York Mets Soufflé"
	DudleyDoWright: A New York Mets Soufflé? What the heck is that?
	omar_goodness: it is a French Creme patissiere base with flavored cream sauce baked with egg yolks and beaten egg whites, sweetened, and served as a savory dessert
	omar_goodness: they call it a "New York Mets Soufflé" because it looks really great in the oven, but collapses right before you get to eat it
	WagnerCharKing: that sounds almost as bad as the Yankee Fan Sandwich at the new Yankee Stadium
	omar_goodness: why, what's a Yankee Fan Sandwich?
	WagnerCharKing: it costs 300 million dollars to make, you have to pay 150 dollars to order it, and then when you bite into it you realize it's still just a f**king sandwich

Hot on HuffPost:

Beware the Dugouts of March: The New York Mets' 2009 Preview

The Dugout

Photos link to player info. (Photo Credit: Getty Images) WordUpThome.com

Hot Leads

ON FACEBOOK

News From Our Partners

Also on AOL >>>

Depp's Dames

Alicia's Evolution

Lip-Sync Fun

They Hooked You

Hot on HuffPost:

Beware the Dugouts of March: The New York Mets' 2009 Preview

The Dugout

Photos link to player info. (Photo Credit: Getty Images) WordUpThome.com

Hot Leads

HuffPost AOL Social News Most Popular

ON FACEBOOK

News From Our Partners

Also on AOL >>>

Depp's Dames

Alicia's Evolution

Lip-Sync Fun

They Hooked You