The Rangers Have a Lucky Scorpion

Three games into the season the Texas Rangers are a perfect 3-0 as they spent their first series knocking around the starting pitching of the Cleveland Indians to the tune of 29 runs. I know this because for the last few days Brinson and Snyder have gone out of their way to remind all of us here at FanHouse how they predicted this would happen.

While we've just smiled and patted them on the head letting them think they're the team's inspiration, the rest of us know what's really going on here. Generally when you're scoring nearly ten runs a game, you're going to win a lot. Besides, the reason the Rangers are playing well has nothing to do with those two. Everybody knows it's their lucky scorpion.

Maybe the key to the Rangers' early success traveled all the way from Arizona to be with the club. Pitcher Dustin Nippert, who is on the disabled list, found a scorpion in the back of his truck after making the trip from Surprise, Ariz.

Instead of getting rid of the scorpion, Nippert gave it to left-hander Matt Harrison. Harrison has had it in his locker for all three victories. The scorpion is living in a plastic tub. Before Thursday's game, Scott Feldman fed the scorpion bread.

"We haven't lost with it here," said Harrison, who has neither named the scorpion nor tried to mess around with it. Harrison said he's hoping to bring the scorpion to Detroit.

Somebody should tell Scott Feldman that feeding a scorpion bread may be good enough to sweep the Indians, but if they want to win the division they're going to have to start giving it human sacrifices. That's just basic good luck scorpion knowledge.

Also, considering that Feldman has an ERA of 15.43 after giving up four runs in 2 1/3 innings on Thursday, he may want to start feeding the scorpion human flesh as soon as possible. It's obvious that he didn't appreciate the bread. At the very least stop feeding it that cheap stuff and splurge on some Pepperidge Farm or something.