Yorvit Torrealba of the Colorado Rockies is thankful for the return of his 11-year old son and the child's uncle after they were kidnapped in Venezuela. The story was largely kept out of the public eye until the abducted were returned safely to their homes, and the perpetrators were apprehended. The situation resolved itself without tragedy, and we learned an important lesson: that this is way, way less important than two unassociated, relief-pitching strangers having beef.

Tonight's Dugout is after the jump. Say word.

The Dugout

	YourFeetAreRealBad: My 11-year old son Yorvit Eduardo was intercepted by kidnappers on his way to school and taken, along with his uncles.
	YourFeetAreRealBad: I left Houston and flew to Venezuela immediately... they were demanding one million dollars for their safe return.
	YourFeetAreRealBad: The police told me to keep my presence quiet, or the kidnappers would request more money, or worse...
	BruneyPaperTowels: yeah man that's great but what about this francisco rodriguez creep
	YourFeetAreRealBad: uh...
	BruneyPaperTowels: have you seen this joker? he celebrates from time to time. i mean, who does that? honestly
	YourFeetAreRealBad: I don't know
	BruneyPaperTowels: yeah, I know he gets a lot of saves, but that's all part of the act
	YourFeetAreRealBad: do... uh, do you want to hear about what happened with my son?
	Online Host strikeout_rod has entered the chatroom.
	strikeout_rod: Hey Yorvit, in the chatroom all by yourself?
	YourFeetAreRealBad: No, I was talking to Brian Bruney of the Yankees. We were talking about how my son was kidnapped and could've been killed. You see-
	strikeout_rod: Who?
	YourFeetAreRealBad: My son, Yorvit Eduardo. He is eleven years old, and
	strikeout_rod: No, who are you talking to?
	BruneyPaperTowels: don't act like you don't know me just because i've never done anything
	strikeout_rod: hahah who are you, look at your hat... that looks like a fake Mets hat, it's not even the right colors, where did you get that, the flea market?
	BruneyPaperTowels: uh it's a little team called "the new york yankees," if you've ever been to boston, cleveland, or los angeles you've seen our hat
	BruneyPaperTowels: you've got a tired act, 62 saves in a season, i mean come on
	YourFeetAreRealBad: The kidnappers negotiated with my wife. Our family was put through hell...
	strikeout_rod: I just looked you up on the Internet, you have 1.2 career saves in 18 years in the major leagues
	BruneyPaperTowels: its not about statistics, its about getting out there and playing the game with reservation and muted respect
	BruneyPaperTowels: you pump your fist, don't you know how disrespectful that is to the people who didn't win
	strikeout_rod: I pump my fist because I'm excited!
	BruneyPaperTowels: what're you, 12 this ain't t-ball junior this is the majors, and when you win here you're supposed to close your eyes, lie down, and remain motionless until you are carried off the field
	YourFeetAreRealBad: I wanted to die. I wanted to kill myself. I thought, how could they do this to an eleven year old?
	strikeout_rod: I collapsed and was unable to walk because of the pressure I put my body through!
	BruneyPaperTowels: one time i collapsed at a minor league game because i was so excited about the taco races, you dont see me pretending to be jesus christ
	BruneyPaperTowels: you throw 10 pitches two times a week for six months out of the year, maybe you have back spasms because of all the celebrating
	BruneyPaperTowels: maybe if you didn't do the ickey shuffle every time you threw a strike you'd be well enough to play with your kids
	YourFeetAreRealBad: I was so happy to see Eduardo again. He ran to me, shouting, "daddy! daddy!"
	BruneyPaperTowels: hold on
	BruneyPaperTowels: nobody wants to hear about your kid, yorbert, we're trying to have a fight
	strikeout_rod: I think "fight" overstates it.
	BruneyPaperTowels: yeah but "conversation" understates it
	strikeout_rod: but regardless, nobody wants to hear about your missing kid, so either smother him in a lake or go back to Colorado where 14 people and some bears will care
	YourFeetAreRealBad: /lowers head
	BruneyPaperTowels: aw that was kind of harsh
	strikeout_rod: yeah, but he said his kid was fine. Your kid is fine, right?
	YourFeetAreRealBad: ...yeah
	strikeout_rod: and you didn't tell the media about it until he was safe? pish, if my son was kidnapped I would call Billy Bush before I called the police
	BruneyPaperTowels: yeah you don't know how the news works, get the hell out of my sight
	YourFeetAreRealBad: /clutches bloody Raggedy Ann doll to chest
	Online Host YourFeetAreRealBad has left the chatroom.
	BruneyPaperTowels: i know how the media works; you are mad homo!
	strikeout_rod: If I ever find out what team you play for I'm gonna kick your ass

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