**OnlineHost** Welcome to Los Angeles Dodgers Clubhouse Chat!

ClaytonBarrel: /idly pulls cord on See & Say

EithierOr: /re-arranges Fresh Prince DVD collection

PierrePants: /shoves cork into bat

**OnlineHost** Manny Ramirez has entered the chat room.

MannyTheTorpedoes: help help help i hav 2 hide

EithierOr: Aren't you still suspended? I don't think you're supposed to be in here

MannyTheTorpedoes: /stares

IM PLAYING SPIES

MannyTheTorpedoes: a govrment has peggd manny as a mol

now manny has 2 hide from a gran duchy

MannyTheTorpedoes: do u have a costumes

EithierOr: No.

MannyTheTorpedoes: hmm

MannyTheTorpedoes: jams bond!

/jumps into Andre Ethier's locker

EithierOr: Hey! Get out of there! What are you doing?

MannyTheTorpedoes: jams bond!

PierrePants: Ha! That Manny Ramirez sure is a character! I wonder what

**OnlineHost** Michael Jackson has died.

PierrePants: he'll be up to next! Whatever it is, I

PierrePants: what

**OnlineHost** Michael Jackson, the King of Pop, has died.

EithierOr: /drops armload of Fresh Prince DVDs

ClaytonBarrel: /drops See & Say

PierrePants: /drops line of conversation

MannyTheTorpedoes: /drops jock strap he was attempting to fashion into a bowtie

EithierOr: ...Huh. Wow. This is huge.

PierrePants: Yeah.

MannyTheTorpedoes: /bursts into tears

EithierOr: Well, okay, wait. Let's not act like Gandhi died. This is Michael Jackson we're talking about.

ClaytonBarrel: who is michael jackson

PierrePants: Wh

PierrePants: Wha

PierrePants: How old are you?

ClaytonBarrel: 8

ClaytonBarrel: ohhhhh wait

ClaytonBarrel: ok is he the wierd guy from south park

PierrePants: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR GENERATION

ClaytonBarrel: the problem with my generation is that we were arbitrarily born whenever we happened to be born and there are certain things that we may not be familiar with

ClaytonBarrel: /slouches into Sit & Spin

PierrePants: Michael Jackson was pretty much the most famous person in the entire world.

PierrePants: He was singularly responsible for reinventing popular music. He also changed the business side of the music industry forever.

PierrePants: He made "Thriller," which sold twice as many copies as any other album in the history of Mankind.

EithierOr: He was also a creepy weirdo who molested children.

PierrePants: Okay, here's my position on that.

PierrePants: He was never convicted. Did he really molest a kid? Maybe? Probably? I don't know. If he did, that would be a horrible thing.

PierrePants: We can agree that, if nothing else, he was a bizarre weirdo whose unprecedented fame probably turned him into someone unacceptably naive.

EithierOr: Right.

PierrePants: The best solution, I think, is to divorce our impression of "Michael Jackson, awesome music guy" from, "Michael Jackson, possible sexual pervert."

EithierOr: How can you do that? It's the same guy.

PierrePants: This sounds silly, but I think it's best to regard him as a character. It's the same way...look.

PierrePants: You can detest Manny for using steroids, right?

EithierOr: Using steroids is not the same as what Jackson probably did.

PierrePants: I know, I know, but stick with me. It's possible for someone to detest Manny for using steroids, but it's also possible to appreciate his accomplishments and demeanor on the field. Human beings aren't an all-or-nothing enterprsie, know what I mean?

EithierOr: I...guess. I don't know, I have to think about it. By which I mean, I'm going to turn on my TV and watch an aerial shot of some anonymous hospital while repeatedly refreshing CNN.com and seeing if Obama will release a statement.

MannyTheTorpedoes: /sniffle

PierrePants: Hey listen, Manny. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to use you as an example like that, it was just the first thing I thought of.

MannyTheTorpedoes: i gant believ a king a pap is ded

PierrePants: Me neither.

MannyTheTorpedoes: whom i gonna play spies with

PierrePants: ...what?

**OnlineHost** Jonathan Papelbon has entered the chat room.

KingOfPap: /makes pistols with fingers

BANG BANG BANG IM A RUSSIA GUY BANG BANG BANG

MannyTheTorpedoes: wh

!

PierrePants: Ohhh.

MannyTheTorpedoes: :) :) :)

PierrePants: Manny, when they said the "King of Pop," they meant Michael Jackson.

KingOfPap: whose michl jacksn

PierrePants: /slaps forehead