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The Newport Beach Police Department landed themselves a doozy of a case on Monday night. Scott Boras, much-maligned baseball agent, had dinner at Bandera Restaurant and returned to a disturbing scene in the parking lot after his meal. His Land Rover bore signs of a brutal assault, with damage to the windshield and driver's side window. Someone used an unknown hard, long object (that's what she said) during the assault, but police are short on other leads. If they hope to crack the case, they'll probably need to start working in shifts as there's no shortage of people with an ax to grind -- or window to break -- when it comes to Boras.
You've got the management of every team in Major League Baseball, although there's probably good reason to start with the Washington Nationals. We're not sure how the Stephen Strasburg negotiations have been progressing, but the mob has always found that a few well-timed broken windows have helped them seal deals on their preferred terms.
Given the way the Nationals have performed this season, though, it's a lot more likely they would have pulled a Walter Sobchak and taken out their frustrations on the wrong car altogether. See what happens, Scott, when you find a stranger in the Alps?
You've also got scores of baseball fans who believe Boras is the antichrist, and Manny Ramirez may still be holding a grudge over turning down that four-year, $100 million contract in light of his 50 games of lost wages this season. Boras also mentioned three mystery assailants, although only Jon Heyman of SI.com is reporting that information.
And then there are those meddling teens, because you can never count out the meddling teens when it comes to parking lot mischievousness.
There's a bright side to this whole sordid episode. Boras was able to negotiate a $2,000 claim with his insurance company, even though no one thought there was more than $700 in damage. He also got a no trade-in clause and six free detailings.
(H/T Deadspin)
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