Renaming the BCS: Time for Voting

Two weeks ago, I issued a call to rename the BCS. Your nominations arrived via e-mail, Facebook, and carrier pigeons. You'll recall that the renaming idea came after we uncovered the fact that the BCS doesn't actually exist as a legal entity. So we decided to give the non-existent entity a name.

Now, after several days sifting through the nominations, we're ready to put the contest to a vote. We've collected 10 finalists below. Read each, then cast your vote to determine what we'll call the BCS for the 2009 year.
As you'll see below the six chosen nominations (to be paired with my four selections from the original column) ran the gamut from cartoons to physics, history to personal-care products. Without further ado, here are our 10 nominations along with the gentleman's name and first initial (to protect them from aggressive Googling) who gave us those nominations.

1. Smurf

Matt B. writes:

"In the old cartoon, the word 'Smurf' was frequently substituted for common words in the dialogue. You hear the term during the show and know what they mean to say, but it just doesn't quite sound right. 'Wow, Smurfette, these blueberry Smurfins are Smurfilicious!!' To me, the BCS is like the word 'Smurf,' a substitute. In this case, it's a substitute for a real championship. You hear the term and know they mean a national championship, but, alas, it just doesn't feel right.

2. KY Series
Ronnie L. writes:

"How about the KY Series, because somebody always gets screwed? I'm an Auburn grad, so I speak from experience. There might be some copyright issues that have to be worked out, so maybe they can just sponsor it at first and then take over the name totally after a couple of years; kinda like when the Chik-fil-A Peach Bowl became just the Chik-fil-A bowl."

3. AntiMatter

Clint B. explains:

"There is considerable speculation as to why the observable universe is apparently almost entirely matter, whether there exist other places that are almost entirely antimatter instead, and what might be possible if antimatter could be harnessed, but at this time the apparent asymmetry of matter and antimatter in the visible universe is one of the greatest unsolved problems in physics. Not unlike the BCS system we currently adhere to.

4. MAG (Mythical Argument Generator)

John R. writes:

"MAG=Mythical Argument Generator. It really is the only saving grace of the BCS. That and the million shots of the band when we could be looking at a replay of something important that just happened."

5. "The McClellan"

Roger F. writes:

"Like General George Brinton McClellan in the Civil War, the BCS amasses great amounts of men and material to convince you that it should be capable of overwhelming victory, yet when the actual moment of truth arrives, aka the battle or the selection, they pull a McClellan and wuss out, leaving us all ashamed that we ever believed in them.

In conjunction with your love for Civil War history, I'd just suggest, "McClellan." (Also because the first c is lowercase.)"

6. BNGID

Brad F. writes:

"A takeoff on the mythical Beard Getting It Done (BGID), now we get BCS Not Getting it Done. BNGID. Granted it conflicts a bit with GNGID (goatee not getting it done), but I like the awkward symmetry."

7. The Null Set: Ø

In ninth grade geometry, we once had a teacher give a geometry test where null set was the answer for five consecutive questions. You talk about a war of wills, a diabolical form of instruction if there ever was one. Making someone believe that a teacher would design five consecutive questions with the null set as an answer was like being the only boy in a pink shirt one day. Not that I would know anything about that.

Not one single person in the class was willing to pick null set all five times. Later, she cackled at us when she revealed her duplicity. (The next year she left teaching. I like to think she now works in a yearbook factory gluing the back page to the cardboard all day long.)

I'm no mathematical expert, but the final BCS equation that determines who plays for the championship always makes me think of the null set

8. B+S

I like the simplicity of this redesign. It's sleek, modern, and it removes the C that stands for Championship. It also sums up the BCS in a more cogent fashion by commingling it with cow dung.

9. Lorenzo White

True fans of Tecmo Super Bowl will know that Houston Oiler Lorenzo White was the worst starting running back in the game. He was awful. In fact, continuing the analogy, if college football, the greatest sport on earth is the sports' equivalent of Tecmo Super Bowl, the greatest video game ever, then one might even deduce that Lorenzo White, the worst starting running back of the game, was the BCS of Tecmo Super Bowl.

See, it works.

10. CUBA!

The only thing in the Western Hemisphere less American than the BCS is Cuba. But to Cuba's credit Raul Castro has been faster to modernize during his tenure than the BCS has been.

In terms of the new name, you merely add one letter and an exclamation point. So you don't lose much in terms of shortness. But you gain so much in spelling out how un-American our selection of a college football "champ" actually is.

Those are the 10. Cast your vote in the poll above. To the winner? A prize to be named later.