Advertisers We'd Like to See Appear on NBA Practice Jerseys
We at FanHouse can't wait that long to see which company decides to sponsor which team, so we've come up with some suggestions of our own. Some are irreverent, and some are more literal. But none are meant to be taken seriously.
Our list, along with our reasoning, after the jump.
Atlanta Hawks: The Baseline. As a way to try to win back the hardcore fans.
Boston Celtics: Viagra. When you're old and need to make it happen just one more time.
Charlotte Bobcats: Check Into Cash. Because, you know, they could use a few bucks.
Chicago Bulls: Brinks. Plenty of cash, but it rarely sees the light of day.
Cleveland Cavaliers: [Redacted by the fine folks at Nike.]
Dallas Mavericks: FantasyBasketball.com. Because Mark Cuban tries to play it for real every summer.
Denver Nuggets: L.A. Ink. For the team that leads the league in tatts, this one's a no-brainer.
Detroit Pistons: General Motors. Fell on hard times, and no one really trusts their plan to get better.
Golden State Warriors: AshleyMadison.com. Two words: Guaranteed scoring.
Houston Rockets: Allstate. You're in good hands with Allstate. Which is a good thing. Since you'll need them. A lot.
Indiana Pacers: Crest Whitestrips. When you need to get things white ... fast.
L.A. Clippers: 800respond.com. Because their thing is disaster restoration.
L.A. Lakers: Gucci. Obnoxious and overpriced. Also, every time you see one, it's probably fake.
Memphis Grizzlies: Vaseline. This team has become nothing more than a financial lubricant for others.
Miami Heat: Nike Golf. No matter how many people they bring on, it's really just about one guy.
Milwaukee Bucks: Salvation Army. Discount players at discount prices.
Minnesota Timberwolves: Taco Bell. They make draft picks run for the border.
New Jersey Nets: Bon Jovi. Because a) everyone in New Jersey loves Bon Jovi, and because b) if the Nets think they are getting to Brooklyn, they are livin' on a prayer.
New Orleans Hornets: NuttyBuddy.com. Chris Paul has a history, that's all we're saying.
New York Knicks: Electrolux. Nothing sucks quite like the Knicks.
Oklahoma City Thunder: ADT. Just in case another city tries to one day steal them.
Orlando Magic: DC Comics. If Dwight Howard is going to keep milking the Superman thing, they might as well do the same.
Philadelphia 76ers: Ask.com. Still looking for the Answer.
Phoenix Suns: IKEA. Really cheap and nobody can figure out how to put anything together.
Portland Trail Blazers: Cash4Gold. They end up with the valuable stuff, and you end up getting ripped off.
Sacramento Kings: U-Haul. (Only true Kings fans are allowed to make that joke.)
San Antonio Spurs: Super Glue. It's never coming apart.
Toronto Raptors: Twitter. As a reward for Chris Bosh beating out Charlie Villanueva in that stupid followers contest.
Utah Jazz: The Supreme Court. In honor of Jerry Sloan: On the bench for life.
Washington Wizards: Gilbert Arenas. Just so he could see his name on his jersey twice.