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Clinton Portis Discusses His Sexuality

Aug 4, 2009 – 10:30 AM
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Matt Snyder

Matt Snyder %BloggerTitle%

Clinton PortisEarlier this past offseason (doesn't it seem cool to say "this past offseason" because the NFL season is only a few weeks away!?), Clinton Portis dyed his hair and facial hair blond -- you can see pictures by clicking through here. It's hardly Earth-shattering news, but he did look a bit odd.

Anyway, he's presently in Redskins camp with the same old black hair we've seen his entire career. Now, I don't think anyone would say there's anything wrong with dying hair. It's not really my thing, but I'm not nearly as cool as Clinton Portis. To each his own. Of course, leave it to Portis to say something awesome when asked about his pretty insignificant decision.
"Why did I go blond?" he repeated. "I just felt like doing something different. You know, I think even with that, from what I hear, now I'm gay? I don't think there's a woman in the United States of America that would say I'm gay. So, you know, I don't hang around men, I don't live a private life, there's constantly people around me. You know, I did it because that was something that I felt like doing. At the moment it was like, 'Ohhh, I want to do something weird and different,' and that's what I did, I dyed my hair blond. You know, it wasn't an attention seeker. I actually was out of the country, I left the country after I did it, so I wasn't even over here once I did it. So it was just an experiment."
So, OK, let's sort this out. Apparently, people were accusing Portis of being gay (not that there's anything wrong with that)? I never saw any of that and the thought wouldn't have crossed my mind anyway (not that there's anything wrong with that). I looked through the sports webisphere and couldn't find an accusation. Did some of his friends heckle him in a Greg McMackin-type manner?

Furthermore, is Portis insinuating that he's had relations with every single woman in the U.S.? I mean, read that fourth sentence from the quote again. Really, Clinton? Every woman in the USA?

This is easily the first great sign the NFL season is rapidly approaching: Portis speaks, hilarity ensues. I love it. Let's hope when he eventually retires he finds a way to stay in the limelight. Things will never get boring with him around.
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