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Best In Show Winner Declared
URL-eponymous Dugout star Jim Thome reached another in a series of milestones last night, when he launched a Jeremy Guthrie pitch 412 feet to dead center. That home run was number 564, moving him ahead of Reggie Jackson on the all-time list. Thome, a week shy of his 39th birthday, passed Mike Schmidt earlier this season and continues hitting balls as high and as far as they will go in the patented AL Central "losing effort."To us, nothing Jim Thome does is a losing effort. We love you, Jimbo, congratulations! Today's Dugout is after the jump.
The Dugout
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OctobersGuy: Maybe you heard... just a little crack is okay. Maybe you heard, cocaine can't really hurt you. |
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WordUpThome: WHERE WOULD I HAVE HEARD THOSE THINGS |
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OctobersGuy: Well you heard wrong. |
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WordUpThome: HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE, I HAVE ALWAYS DARED! TO RESIST DRUGS AND ALCOHOL |
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WordUpThome: COULD THIS OLD DARE BEAR HAVE BEEN MIS-LEAD BY THE CARTOON ALL STARS TO THE RESCUE; WOULD GARFIELD CAT AND MICHAEL ANGELO LIE TO ME |
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OctobersGuy: There's no home run on cocaine. Y'get me? Are you listening? |
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WordUpThome: I ALWAYS WONDERED WHY THE CARTOON RESERVES DID NOT ALSO COME TOWARD THE RESCUE |
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WordUpThome: DID BOSKO AND COOKIE AND CHANCE FURLONG FROM SWAT CATS THE RADICAL SQUADRON NOT CARE ABOUT MICHAEL'S SMOKING |
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OctobersGuy: Just a little bit of crack, or cocaine, can be addictive or even kill you. That's the real truth. The lie is: it's the OTHER guy who's going to die. |
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WordUpThome: NO DISRESPECT MEANT REDGE BUT DIDN'T YOU TRY TO ASSASSINATE THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND |
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OctobersGuy: that was just a movie, Jim. |
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WordUpThome: BUT IT WAS BASED ON REAL EVENTS, LIKE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 1 THE LEGEND BEGINS |
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WordUpThome: ARE YOU AWARE OF HOW YOUR ACTIONS INADVERTENTLY RUINED THE DAY OF RENOWNED OPERA SINGER ENRICO PALLAZZO |
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OctobersGuy: What did you want to talk to me about? |
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WordUpThome: WASN'T OJAY SIMPSON IN THE FILM AS WELL, THE TALL FROSTY ALLEGED SLAYER OF NICOLE BROWNED SIMPSON AND WRONG OLDMAN |
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WordUpThome: I HAD NO IDEA THE NAKED GUN WAS SO FULL OF MURDERS |
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WordUpThome: OH |
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WordUpThome: HEY REGGIE JACKSON THIS IS JI |
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OctobersGuy: Hi, Jim. What did you want to talk to me about? |
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WordUpThome: JIM THOME |
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OctobersGuy: Does this have anything to do with you passing me on the all-time home run list? |
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WordUpThome: INDUBITABLY OLD CHAMP, DINGER 564 WAS DONGED LAST NIGHT, I WANTED TO MAKE SURE YOU WEREN'T GOING TO SHOOT A GUN AT ME ABOUT IT |
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OctobersGuy: No, of course not. I was just talking to Jim Rice about this the other day. |
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OctobersGuy: Today's players are so disrespectful... we didn't have the baggy uniforms, or the dreadlocks. The guys playing now just couldn't compare to us. |
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OctobersGuy: you see guys like A-Rod, guys like Manny... bottom feeding, bohemian loudmouths like Derek Jeter with their bongos and patchouli and devil may care attitudes |
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OctobersGuy: No, the list of players I will not fall under the control of Ricardo Montalbán and shoot for passing me are two Mariners and you, Jim. |
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WordUpThome: THAT IS NICE BUT, UH, HAVE YOU EVER ACTUALLY SEEN DEREK JETER |
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WordUpThome: THAT GUY IS SO WHITE BREAD AND BORING HE MAKES EVEN A DOWN-HOMER LIKE MYSELF FEEL LIKE DOLERMITE |
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WordUpThome: I AM PRETTY SURE YOU COULD EAT SODA OFF OF HIS NETHER-REGIONS AND NOT GET SICK |
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OctobersGuy: Jeter is the one with the skateboard, yes? |
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WordUpThome: WHAT |
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WordUpThome: WHY NOT CAST ASPERSIONS ON DAVID WRIGHT, THAT GUY IS STRAIGHT OUT OF THE MULAN ROGUE |
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WordUpThome: HE IS ONE CLOWN MAKEUPS AWAY FROM BEING TOULOUSE LAUTREC |
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OctobersGuy: when you're as old as me, everything seems awful and inflammatory, even the stuff you're used to... 2 + 2 = 4 comes off like the soundtrack to "HAIR" to me |
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OctobersGuy: just keep hitting your dingers and pass as many of us as you can before you're through |
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WordUpThome: I WILL, JACKO, THANK YOU |
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WordUpThome: ALL RIGHT, WHO IS NEXT /types in AOL keyword: "all-time home run list" |
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Raffi: I have never used cocaine. PERIOD. |
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WordUpThome: OH GREAT, THIS GUY |
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