Minor League Team's 'What Would Tim Tebow Do?' Night Called Foul

It's come to this in Florida: Tim Tebow is standing in as Jesus for minor league baseball promotions. At least he would be if the "What Would Tim Tebow Do?" promotion by the minor league Fort Myers Miracle hadn't run afoul of NCAA regulations promoting the use of player likenesses to promote for-profit events. Instead, after receiving a letter from the University of Florida, the Miracle scrambled and came up with an ingenious counterstrike that left legal scholars baffled: "What Would T.T. Do?"

Who could this strange figure with double T's as initials truly be?

Festivities included, and I'm not making this up, a Tim Tebow jump pass to begin the game. The video's above and, if you're anything like me, you can't stop watching this pass. It's strangely hypnotic, Tebowian in the odd rapidity with which this guy executes his role. He comes barreling out of the dugout at full speed wearing a Gators No. 1 jersey (was the Tebow jersey deemed too much?), pauses for an instant, jump passes a football, and then sprints back off the field. The entire process takes 15 seconds.

The only thing the scene needed to be complete was a crying LSU, Tennessee, or Oklahoma fan.

But that wasn't all the fun. Cue the article:

Festivities included free promise rings to every fan at the game, a ceremonial "jump-pass" to start the game and mock character named "T.T." attempted to walk on water after the top of the second inning. Local construction worked Timothy Tebo (no relation) was scheduled to appear and take part in the activities, but was a no-show at the game.

Damn, construction workers, so unreliable, even when they share a name with a saint.

By the way, am I the only one who thinks the parenthetical after Timothy Tebo (no relation) is the greatest thing in this article? Are you now required to put a parentheses in disclaiming relations when people don't even have the same last name? This is either the most unintentionally funny copy edit I've seen in a long time, or it's the greatest Tim Tebow joke pulled off so far.

If any minor league park ever gets desperate enough to host a "What Would Clay Travis Do?" night -- which by the way, would not be PG and could lead to a mass arrest when the "public urination after several beers at the game" portion of the night happens--I hope they can find a construction worker named Clay Travi (no relation.)

And he doesn't bother to show up.

As everyone scrambles to find ways to make money off Tim Tebow, including the Florida Gators who have probably sold four billion Gator No. 15 jerseys, is there anything that went too far to be featured at "What Would T.T. Do?" night?

Yep, they contemplated a mock circumcision.

Seriously.

Too bad. They should have raised the bar and invited Tebow and had him perform circumcisions during the 7th inning stretch.

He probably would have accepted. And then the entire stadium would have converted in one joyous medley of religious fervor. Such is the power of the chosen one.