Prepare the Visor Toss, South Carolina Might Not Survive September

Did the air smell crisper to you last night? This morning did you beat your chest and bellow as loud as you could while staring at the heavens? I did. College football is back. Thank the Lord. But for some of us, such as South Carolina fans, the season is not getting off to a nice, easy start. Nope, they're traveling north and taking on N.C. State in a game that they're expected to lose. That's despite the 34-0 walloping they put on N.C. State on a Thursday night to start last season. In fact, of the four teams playing tonight on ESPN, South Carolina has more at stake than any of them. Yep, more than Boise State, Oregon, or the Woflpack.

Why?

Because South Carolina has to survive September or their season is going to implode in a hurry. Let's dive in to the college football bonanza and I'll tell you why Gamecock fans are covering their eyes with their visor lids. And it has nothing to do with the debut of the Wild Cock formation. Seriously, am I the only person who can't wait to here Verne Lundquist/Benjamin Franklin talk about the Wild Cock?
I love South Carolina fans and the football experience in Columbia. I like the oysters in the pregame, the dangerous medley that arrives when the South Carolina state fair coincides with a football game, the middle school enthusiasm that their male fan base has to scream out "Cocks" as loudly as they can in the midst of the Gamecocks cheer. I like the Cockabooses and the mildly creepy, yet at the same time awesome, way the camera guy zooms in on really hot coeds during the Carolina Girl song. I like Charleston and Hilton Head and Pat Conroy and the South Carolina state flag and the way that no matter how many hall-of-fame coaches whose career they run into the ground, South Carolina fans keep believing in their team.

Having said that, I don't like South Carolina's opening schedule.

Not at all.

In three of their first four games, including tonight at N.C. State, the Gamecocks will be the underdog. They'll be expected to lose at Georgia -- in a game that will doubtless end with a score of 12-10 and not be decided until the final play -- and at home on Thursday night against Ole Miss. Blessedly, in the third game of their schedule, they have a home win against Florida Atlantic penciled in. But right now, there's a strong likelihood that South Carolina comes out of September sitting at 1-3.

This is ominous, even aside from the disappointment of a 1-3 record.

South Carolina only has one game on their schedule after September that is a guaranteed win -- South Carolina State. Tremendous odds will be on the Gamecocks losing to Florida and at Alabama. If you finish September with three losses, you can chalk up five guaranteed losses with those two teams. Toss in games at Arkansas and at Tennessee, where they'll likely be underdogs, and games like Vanderbilt (who have beaten the Gamecocks twice in a row), Clemson, who the Gamecocks have only beaten three times since 1996 and Kentucky, and you're talking about a team that will struggle to get bowl eligible if they start poorly.

So if you're wondering which school has the most at stake in tonight's games, South Carolina is the answer. Because if they end September 1-3, as they're predicted to do, they aren't going to a bowl game and Steve Spurrier will be finished at the school.

Book it.

Yep, if South Carolina doesn't come out of September sitting at 2-2 at the worst, the season goes off the Cockaboose rails in a hurry. And N.C. State is an easier opponent than either Ole Miss or Georgia. So for the Gamecocks more so than any other team, they must win tonight. Their season depends on it. Hell, their coaches fate might depend on it.

I hope the oysters are in season.

Happy college football season, y'all.

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Here are my first week picks against the spread. Starting next week, and this is the complete truth, I'm going to be picking against my family's French exchange student, Audrey. She knows nothing about college football. Which means she'll probably beat me for the season. But for now, it's just me against the world.

South Carolina at N.C. State -5.

I think the Gamecocks will lose. But I think it will be an agonizingly close loss. Say by three points on an N.C. State touchdown with less than two minutes to play.

Oregon at Boise State -3

How many times will blue turf be mentioned in tonight's game? Blue turf, blue turf, blue turf. How many times will it start a sentence? Better question, how many Oregon students will think they took the wrong mushrooms when this game opens?

Georgia at Oklahoma State -4.5

Mark Richt is 30-4 in road games with the Bulldogs. Of course, conveniently, that doesn't count neutral games at Florida. Suggestion for Oklahoma State fans: Gator Chomp all night long.

La. Tech at Auburn -12.5

True story, Auburn's Tri-Delts replaced Chris Todd at quarterback with a girl name Laci Reynolds because Chris Todd's arm wasn't strong enough. Todd responded by winning the starting quarterback job at Auburn.

Alabama -6.5 vs. Virginia Tech

Alabama fans are talking trash about how much of the Georgia Dome will be wearing crimson. Seriously, Virginia Tech, y'all can't travel down the road 7 hours for a game this big? For shame, Hokies, for shame.

LSU -17.5 at Washington

True story, Les Miles spent all offseason thinking Washington was in Washington, D.C. He's going to be shocked when the plane lands and he can't see the Washington Monument from his hotel room.
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Clay Travis is the author of three books. His latest, On Rocky Top: A Front Row Seat to The End of an Era chronicles the 2008 Tennessee football season, is on sale now.