Good Grief, This Clemson Fan Is Sad

In 1969, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced the stages of grief in her book On Death and Dying. Forty years later, a particular Clemson fan, commemorated the occasion after his Tigers lost at Georgia Tech on Sept. 10.

I'm no psychologist, but that won't stop me from dissecting the stages experienced by this poor fellow.

Stage 1: Denial

Clem -- our cleverly-named test subject -- turns in disbelief to his fellow bro for comfort. Seconds earlier he clearly mouths a feeble,"No." Sad.

Stage 2: Anger

Suddenly, he is pregnant with emotion. Clem lashes out, slapping his orange cap on the bleacher bench. At the very least he will accomplish that sweet pre-frayed-brim look.

Stage 3: Bargaining

Clem turns his attention from the game to a higher power. "Why, Lord?" he pleads. "Why let us back into a 24-0 game, only to have us lose on a last-minute field goal?"

No response. The Lord was not watching Thursday Night Football.

Stage 4: Depression

His prayers unanswered, Clem buries his head. None shall see his face. Only his turquoise LIVESTRONG-rip-off bracelet.

Stage 5: Acceptance

With Clem unable to come to grips with the loss, the Thursday Night Football crew accepts their duty as broadcasters and red-blooded Americans. Jesse Palmer leads the group in a public shaming of this sorry soul. Chris Fowler is gangster.

Fin.