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Each and every Saturday this season I'll be taking a look at the random happenings and absurdities that occur in the world of hockey. This is the first edition. Feel free to suggest stories, complain or otherwise babble at me via electronic mail. There are a lot of issues facing the NHL. We can argue about the NHL's policy on hits to the head till we're blue in the face, or we can debate the shootout all night. Then there's the situation in Phoenix and the Versus/DirecTV squabble. Sure, all of that is very important. But there's no bigger issue in the NHL today than the biting epidemic. The league must act swiftly to ensure the hands of our favorite stars stay intact and not in the mouths of other players.
First, it was Jarkko Ruutu taking a chomp on Andrew Peters last season. This week, it was Scott Hartnell allegedly biting Kris Letang. The total suspensions for those two incidents? Two games, and Hartnell got off scot-free.
'Sure,' you may say. 'These aren't the hands of serious goal scorers.'
You're right, they're not. Peters has only four goals in 200 career games and Letang has 18 in almost 150 games. But if the NHL doesn't nip this epidemic right away, then we're headed down a death spiral towards rampant hand biting, lawlessness and death panels that decide who lives and dies. It's a very slippery slope, people.
That's why we must act now and convince the NHL that biting is a problem that needs to be addressed. What if Hartnell had decided to chow down on Evgeni Malkin's hand? What a black eye that would be for the sport to have; one of it's best players on the sidelines due to a hungry, hungry Hartnell. This may be funny now, but when teams turn to biting as a way to stifle top goal scorers, we'll wonder why nothing was done about this sooner. I propose that the NHL needs to implement a strict no biting policy unless it involves ice girl-on-ice girl action, or food from concession stands.
YouTube of the Week
TSN wants another Canadian team... In New York?
Jokes I Can't Resist Making
- Since corporate re-branding is a big deal nowadays, the Islanders try some of their own.
- TSN has scientifically determined that the only thing more annoying than the Toronto media is combining it with the New York media.
- The team's logo is a Maple Leaf that reads fugghedaboutit.
- Now, New Yorkers can find out what it's like to have a team with the history, tradition and arrogant fans of the Yankees without all the championships.
Knuckle Pucker of the Year Nominee
Each week, we'll nominate someone who deserves to be recognized for their outstanding service and commitment to giving me something to write about. By the end of the year I'll come up with some way to declare a winner. Today's nominee is...
Josh Sacco. I'm sure you've seen the 4-year old Herb Brooks already but he certainly deserves to be nominated for this award. Here's a new video of him giving his speech to the Predators' in-game entertainers. Somewhere, Herb Brooks is looking down and smiling.
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Mitt Romney Wins Maine Caucus
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