Tebow's Touchdown Mark, Trick or Treat?

There is no more beloved Georgia Bulldog football player than Herschel Walker and no more beloved Florida football player than Tim Tebow.

Disagree if you like, but I feel pretty confident in both statements. Sadly, these gridiron warriors are separated by a generation and never will get the chance to play one another in the World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party. By the time Tebow arrived at Florida, Walker was only in the news alongside Tebow for acknowledging his multiple personality disorder.

Until now. Saturday, Tebow, who trails the Georgia running back by one rushing touchdown for his career, is likely to break Walker's all-time rushing touchdown total in the SEC.

Or is he?

It seems there's a bit of an accounting error in the record books. See, the SEC didn't start counting bowl game touchdowns in the end of season totals until recently. So Herschel Walker actually scored five more touchdowns for the Bulldogs that don't appear in his official stats. That means Walker's 49 career rushing touchdowns should actually be 54 career rushing touchdowns. Now, right now, you might be thinking to yourself, that doesn't really matter very much. But if you know Georgia and Florida fans, you know the exact opposite is true, it matters an awful lot, particularly for Georgia fans who continue to worship at the altar of St. Herschel even as we approach 30 years since he last scorched across the Sanford Stadium grass.

Tebow's ascension to the top of the career rushing record in the SEC begs the question, how hard would it really be to put five interns in charge of reviewing the stats from every bowl game, add the touchdowns up with proper attribution, and then include them in the season totals? I mean, when you consider the amount of money that SEC schools waste on, say, travel, how can not having accurate records from bowl games really be an issue?

Especially when it comes to a basic stat like touchdowns?

I'm not saying they need to be able to recreate sacks or punt yardage from ancient bowl games, but touchdowns? Come on, let's get on this. It wouldn't even cost a dime. But if the SEC wanted it to cost a dime so they could be a bit more certain about past histories, they could bring in an accounting firm, provide them with all the bowl records featuring every team, and let them crunch the data for a single weekend. By the end of that weekend all the stats would be accurate forever.

In fact, this idea makes so much sense, how has it not happened? I might turn this into a personal crusade until someone in the SEC offices explains why this is impossible. From doing research on my last book, I know the sports information departments keep all of the old clips from games that they can. Certainly, they keep all the old records from bowl games.

I'll keep y'all updated on this quest.

In the meantime, you can imagine why Georgia fans are so incensed at the idea of Tebow breaking Walker's record. It's one of the few things they have to hold onto in this series. In fact, in the 27 years since Herschel Walker last played for the Bulldogs, Georgia has won just eight Cocktail Parties. It's even worse since 1990. In the last 19 seasons, Georgia is 3-16 against the Gators.

Is there a more lopsided bitter rivalry game in the country?

As if that weren't enough, Georgia is coming off its worst loss in the series since 1996. And, of course, there's that tiny little fact about Urban Meyer taking two timeouts inside the final minute so Georgia fans could stew over their 49-10 defeat. Now, on top of all that, Tim Tebow is going to take Herschel's record? Right in front of Bulldog fans? Taking the record against Georgia is so diabolical, it almost seems planned.

Yep, these are the times that try a Bulldog fan's soul. And not just because Willie Martinez is still prowling the sideline, and he and Mark Richt spent the bye week convincing all recruits that Martinez wasn't going anywhere. With a bye week to prepare, a team that is over a two-touchdown underdog, facing a number one team on the other sideline that hasn't lost in 17 consecutive games, Georgia fans are doing their best to string together a plausible argument about why this year will be different than all the others that have come before.

And I'll give you this prediction: It's going to be a single-digit game.

Come Saturday, I'll be there to find out exactly how much both teams care when I attend the Cocktail Party. And by "attend the Cocktail Party," I mean don't actually enter the stadium. My goal this weekend is to capture the Cocktail Party atmosphere without managing to see a single live snap. So from Friday when I touch down in Jacksonville until Sunday when I take off, I want to see it all. This makes even more sense when you consider the obvious -- it's Halloween.

The always insane Cocktail Party will likely be ratcheted up to an entirely new level of insanity. And the costumes, my God, the costumes, will blow your mind away. That's why I'm soliciting costume suggestions. Although, to be fair, I'm really not sure how many people will be wearing costumes to the game. And is there anything worse than being the only tool in a costume when everyone else is dressed normally? The only ground rules for costume suggestions are that it can't be so hot to make me pass out (alcohol causing me to pass out is, of course, a natural hazard of the game) and I'm not dressing up as a girl.

Not again this year, anyway.



It's also going to be, wait for it, 89 degrees. The atmosphere around the stadium -- the only game that fills the Jacksonville Jaguar stadium up all year -- is going to be so laden with alcohol fumes that if someone struck a large match the entire place would explode.

On Cocktail Party weekend Jacksonville is like Sodom and Gomorrah and Tebow's the only person who wouldn't turn to salt. And I can't wait for the experience. I want to hear from y'all about what I have to do, see, and experience. So shoot me a line at clay.travis@gmail.com. Then check back on Sunday for the story of the game. Or, more accurately, the story of what went on around the game.