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FOXBOROUGH, MA -- Bill Belichick's now-infamous decision to go for a fourth-and-two against the Colts received scrutiny in the hours and days following -- ranging from people who think statistics matter defending the play to old people who don't understand math explaining the Patriots coach's failure as a "lack of clutchness." Belichick finally addressed the issue himself Monday afternoon.
"I was sick of winning," the New England coach deadpanned to the crowded panel of reporters. "Really, at this point, with three Super Bowl rings, an undefeated regular season and having completely mastered the salary cap and reinvented my team even through losing every assistant possible, it just got too hard to shake that whole 'genius' label you guys tagged me with. So I figured, what better time than against the Colts to to just completely ruin my reputation, lay my entire career on the line for one fourth down, and set expectations back a bit."
Belichick then stepped down from the podium and politely answered individual reporter's questions about injuries before confirming to one news outlet that if Kansas City or Oakland would start talks he would be open to trading Tom Brady for Matt Cassel or Richard Seymour, "straight up."
*The FanHouse Fake News Network. Because the Onion ain't hiring. Jerks.
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