Knuckle Puck: Why Don't We Know What Refs Intend to Do?

Each and every Saturday this season I'll be taking a look at the random happenings and absurdities that occur in the world of hockey. Feel free to suggest stories, complain or otherwise babble at me via electronic mail.

Seriously. What's with you hockey fans, teams and players? Why don't you know what refs are thinking about doing? Why don't you know what they intend to do? More importantly, you should know why the ref is intending to do what he hasn't done yet but will since he intends to do what he's about to do.

Confused? So am I, and so is the majority of the hockey world.

But the people that aren't confused are the most important segment of all -- the folks in the stripes and in charge of NHL officiating. They think we should know what they intend to do, as Dennis LaRue showed us on Wednesday. A source inside of Starbucks in Manhattan, where the NHL offices are located, spoke to me on condition of anonymity this week. The source spoke about how the folks in the league office get their morning coffee. They don't say a word until a few minutes after the server asks for their order. He or she should know what they're intending to order.**

Now that's got to be a frustrating job.

In order to help the general public (i.e. the rest of us) have a better understanding of the "intent to blow" rule, I've created a helpful guide that you can practice at home. Remember, it may take a while for the people around you to warm up to this rule, but in the long run, it will certainly be beneficial.

-- If you take the train to work, don't buy a ticket. Simply tell the conductor that you intended to buy one and he or she will understand.

-- If you drive to work, don't use your turn signal. You intend to do it but haven't gotten around to it yet. Other drivers should know that.

-- When you get to work, sit in front of the computer and read FanHouse all day. If your boss complains, tell them that they should know you intended to do work.

-- If you are the boss, here's a fun trick for year-end performance reviews. Don't give any promotions or raises. Just keep telling anyone who asks that you intend to do it. You should be able to work that angle until the end of next year.

-- If you have kids and forgot to play with them like you promised, just tell them that you intended to do it. They'll understand.

-- At the supermarket, smash your cart into someone else's. You can get away with it if you tell them that your intent was to politely go around them.

YouTube of the Week

Olli Jokinen fighting. That statement alone should be funny, nevermind the accompanying video.



Knuckle Pucker of the Year Nominee
Each week, we'll nominate someone who deserves to be recognized for their outstanding service and commitment to giving me something to write about. By the end of the year I'll come up with some way to declare a winner. Today's nominee is...

... front row Ducks fans! Thanks to a few bad eggs sitting in the front row Thursday night a nice gesture by Scott Niedermayer turned into an all out brawl. The horrified look on Niedermayer's face -- similar, I would imagine, to a child watching the animals fight at a zoo -- says it all. So, thanks to the folks in the front row of Thursday night's Ducks game for showing us how to turn a great situation into an awful one in less than three seconds.

Jokes I Can't Resist Making
-- Think this is bad? You should see what happens at their houses on Christmas morning.
-- In all fairness, the stick was made of solid gold and coated in bacon.
-- They were just doing what they see George Parros do every night.
-- Come on guys, it isn't even Sidney Crosby's stick.

(**May or may not have actually happened)