Staring 11: Kiffin Seeks Deputy Criticizer

Late in Saturday's game against Vanderbilt, Tennessee's Dennis Rogan appeared to intercept a pass in the end zone. Only a questionable pass interference call was made. Vanderbilt received a first and goal and eventually kicked a field goal on the series. Lane Kiffin commented on the call in his post-game by telling Commissioner Slive he appreciated the call. Not content with that statement, the next morning Kiffin appeared on the Lane Kiffin Show alongside Vol announcer Bob Kesling and this was the transcript of their discussion of that play:


Kesling: This is third and goal.

Kiffin: [Heavy Sigh]

Kesling: The ball looks like it's intercepted.

Kiffin: The ball is intercepted. I thought that was a great call by the ref throwing the pass interference there. I'm sure that we were at fault.

Kesling: Here it is again.

Kiffin: You can say whatever you want. [Mike Slive] can't fine you.

Kesling: No, I think I'm under the same umbrella.

Kiffin: No, he can't fine you, don't worry. Go ahead, say what I wanted.

Kesling: Under the same umbrella.

Fortunately, I've got Lane Kiffin's solution: independent officiating criticizers who aren't affiliated with the university in any respect to do a coach's bidding.

Think about how sought after these positions would be. You'd be the de facto officiating commenter for the coach! It's like every message board poster's dream come true.

Anyway, as you can see by Lane Kiffin's comments, SEC Commissioner Mike Slive is the equivalent of a seventh grade substitute teacher trying to stop the blue word game from erupting in his classroom. (You know when one person says, for example, a euphamism for a man part and then someone else says it a bit louder until they get to the point where the teacher hears it and penalizes someone.) Basically every SEC coach is challenging the intent of the rule.

What if one coach just turned into a tremendous champion of the referees. Imagine, for instance, a postgame comment: "Boy, that call was one of the best I've ever seen in all my years of coaching," and denied that he was being sarcastic. Can you fine a coach for sarcasm, for being overly complimentary?

Anyway, with that question we're off and running with the Starting 11.

1. Much has been made of Les Miles/Col Jessep's decision on Saturday. But without the tape from the headset conversation we're in an difficult position. Much like the Watergate investigators after President Nixon cut out the 18 minutes.

Fortunately, and I expect major props for this, I've been e-mailed the existing tape and will be posting portions of it for your review throughout the Starting 11.

Immediately after the tackle as the clock begins to tick:

26, 25, 24

Booth: Coach!

Les Miles: Lemme finish.

Booth: Coach!

Les Miles: And so you're telling me that they have recreated the final "Seinfeld" episode inside of a new show called "Curb Your Enthusiasm" and they are playing it on Home Box Office?

2. I've been threatened with death over my Uga VII piece, but I'm not letting the overreaction over a dog's death go gently into that good night.

Did ESPN's announcing team really need to say that Georgia's players were playing on Saturday with "heavy hearts."

I mean ... come on.

Do you really think that Uga VII's death impacted the players at all?

Nope, not one single bit. Now, if Uga's players were playing with heavy hearts because they gave up four turnovers in the second half and lost at home to Kentucky for the first time in 30 years, well, I can see that.

3. Twenty-three seconds, 22 seconds, 21 seconds

Booth: Coach!

Les Miles: What is a Home Box Office? Do I have one of those?

Booth: Coach!

4. No one is talking about this but Heisman hopeful Mark Ingram is very close to being passed in a yards-per-game average by, get this, another player in the SEC.

Anthony Dixon rushed 24 times for 176 yards against Arkansas. Dixon now trails Ingram by 1.38 yards per game. The only reason these two players aren't completely interchangable in terms of total running yardage is because Dixon didn't play in Mississippi State's first game of the season.

In fact, against common SEC opponents, Kentucky, LSU, and Arkansas Dixon has rushed for 534 yards to Ingram's 334. So against the exact same defenses, Dixon has been almost twice the runner that Ingram has. After this upcoming week, we'll be able to add Ole Miss and Auburn to the common opponent mix, but look for Dixon to finish the season with substantially more yards than Ingram playing against the same competition.

Leaving me with this question,what if they just held the Heisman in abeyance and could save it for future years when two better players deserve it?

5. 20 seconds, 19 seconds, 18 seconds

Les Miles: Calm down y'all. Do you want me to push the buzzer? I love that buzzer. Sometimes, when I get bored over here, I just push the buzzer to give the refs a little jolt. Imma do it now.

Pushes buzzer.

Booth: Coach!

Less Miles: Buzzzzzzzzzz. You know bumblebees have a queen. Not a king. You know what else, that buzz sound, that's the sound that Ryan Perrilloux's going to hear every time he leaves his cell.

Booth: Coach!

Les Miles: Buzzzzzzzz. Look at that old official, he's looking at me like he expects me to do something.

Sucker.

6. Question: Can you use the family bathroom at a football stadium if there isn't a family presently there?

I think so.

But what do you do if you come out and there's a mom waiting with a baby?

She's going to curse you for all eternity. Maybe not out loud, but in her mind. Your karma is ruined.

7. 17 seconds. 16 seconds, 14 seconds, 13 seconds

Les Miles: Can you believe that Spencer Pratt got his Vas Deferens snipped? One year I went to a Halloween Party dressed as a Vin Diesel. But I thought I was the Vas Deferens. Kids got me all confused. So I stood up at the party and said, "I thought I was a part of the man part, but I'm really not. I apologize to all of the ladies for saying, 'My man part could use some punch.' What I should have said, you know to be more accurate, was, 'Little Vin is happy to see you.'"

8. How disappointing is playing coaching dominoes going to be if Brian Kelly leaves Cincinnati for Notre Dame?

You'll recall that I said playing coaching dominoes was one of my favorite past-times when I'm bored in my car. This means I'm lame. But chance are, you're lame too.

Then all we've got left open is a Cincinnati job that won't be attractive enough to really set the dominoes falling anywhere. It's the coaching dominoes equivalent of the Tyson-Spinks fight, a complete let-down.

Selfishly I'm rooting for Notre Dame to pry away Urban Meyer just so we can have a colossal explosion.

9. 12 seconds, 11 seconds, 10 seconds, 9 seconds, 8 seconds

Les Miles: Easy, easy, the state trooper just called the timeout. You know how we do these things. I'm the deputy clock man. He's the clock man.

Les Miles: Okay, here's the play, everyone runs down the field and you throw it up in the air really high and we'll pray to God that someone catches.

Jordan Jefferson: A Hail Mary, Coach?

Les Miles: Lord no, Mary was just the vessel for the Lord Baby Jesus. No sir, I'm calling this the Hail Jesus.

10. If Boise State and TCU wanted to play an unscheduled game against each other, could they?

I was sitting around doodling in the dentist's office the other day, when I wondered about this. What if both teams decided to play the weekend after the conference championship games? I mean, Boise is already playing 13 games this season so what does one more, a cool 14, hurt?

If Boise didn't already have a game scheduled on Dec. 5, they could have played against each other and tried to stick a thumb in the eye of the BCS rankings. Regardless, wouldn't it be great if two small conference teams agreed to a playoff-level game just to spit in the eye of the BCS?

And then got a major corporation to sponsor the game and award the winner the national championship?

In the meantime, you can head over to twitter and read the new social media strategy of the BCS: Starting up a pro-BCS twitter feed called @insidethebcs

Totalitarianism meet social media, lovely.



11. Meanwhile, has the Pac 10 had a crazier finale than a Dec. 3 Oregon-Oregon State Civil War hate-fest for a trip to the Rose Bowl?

On a Thursday night?

I watched the end of Oregon-Arizona from a bar and it had to be the craziest game of the year.

At least the craziest game with a ton at stake.

Now I feel like Oregon-Oregon State is going to be craziest.