Mitt Romney Wins Maine Caucus
Bachmann Blasts Stern Over Criticism
As if Cleveland needed something else embarrassing to happen, Indians center fielder Grady Sizemore, known around Progressive Field as "our only remaining good player," has undertaken his own Tila Tequila-esque nude photo scandal. The good news is that the pictures are only semi-nude, and that he's the kind of guy women want to see in his underwear anyway. Not like Jim Thome is having a nude photo scandal or something. The bad news is that this is the first time the Indians have made news since April.Tonight's Dugout is after the jump. Warning: tonight's Dugout contains mature subject matter. Well, maybe not "mature."
The Dugout
 |
Pronky_Kong: hey man, you excited for monday night raw this week |
|---|---|
 |
MarteInTheUSA: not really, why, should I be? Is there going to be good wrestling or some sort of compelling story to follow? |
|
Pronky_Kong: even better, those irrepressible bad boys degeneration x are going to "little peoples court," which is a courtroom full of midgets |
|
MarteInTheUSA: why the hell are they in a midget court? |
|
Pronky_Kong: a dirty man-child midget posing as a leprechaun got some d-x merchandise and started wearing it and crotch chopping to show his suppor |
|
Pronky_Kong: but d-x didn't like it, so they sued the midget, sending the message to any small persons such as midgets or children that buying or wearing degeneration x merchandise could end in legal action |
|
Pronky_Kong: well, in a series of events torn from the pages of your favorite dickensian novel, the midget continued wearing d-x clothes and was physically assaulted by the two 40+ year old men, one of whom was wearing a wicker cowboy hat |
|
Pronky_Kong: the midget then countersued, and because midgets are midgets and not people, d-x has to go to a midget version of court |
|
MarteInTheUSA: what in the f**king f**k |
|
MarteInTheUSA: do they still professionally wrestle on these shows or is it just a shirtless version of Mad TV? |
|
Pronky_Kong: jack swagger and evan bourne were having a pretty good match, but they finished up in like 20 seconds |
| **Online Host** biscuits_and_grady has entered the chatroom. |
|
 |
biscuits_and_grady: OH MY GOD EVERYONE SIGN OFF, EVERYONE GET OFF OF THE INTERNET IMMEDIATELY |
|
MarteInTheUSA: oh god did eric wedge leave his computer with y2k still on it |
|
Pronky_Kong: i can't get off the internet, this is the only place where people care about what i think about how pinkie sanchez knew the inverted chikara special! |
|
biscuits_and_grady: I don't care, you have to get off now, there are semi-naked pictures of me on the internet. |
|
Pronky_Kong: so what? who cares |
|
MarteInTheUSA: Yeah, we see you naked all the time. You look like an action figure. You've even got the T-shaped pelvis |
|
Pronky_Kong: yeah, where they mold it so you can still move the legs up and down |
|
biscuits_and_grady: Yes, but these are compromising pictures I took for an undisclosed girlfriend/girlfriends over the last few years |
|
Pronky_Kong: what, you mean like everybody else in the world |
 |
JetersNeverProsper: oh no that's a shame :*( I'd really like to help but I don't know how, maybe you should tell me where the pictures are so I can think of something |
|
biscuits_and_grady: The worst part is that these pictures are clearly STOLEN from me, and I need to figure out who stole them |
|
Pronky_Kong: it couldn't have been me, my computer has been broken for the last three seasons |
|
MarteInTheUSA: and it couldn't have been anyone on the Indians, we don't have anyone left who can steal |
|
Pronky_Kong: whats the big deal, you're a handsome guy in great shape wait, you didn't do the jeff reed d**k cleavage thing did you |
|
MarteInTheUSA: you aren't knee-deep in a Kardashian or anything, are you |
|
biscuits_and_grady: no, no, it's nothing like that... |
|
JetersNeverProsper: I just asked every single player on the Yankees if they had copies and nobody did. |
|
Pronky_Kong: lol not even a-rod, i figured he'd have that sh** on his desktop |
|
JetersNeverProsper: Alex said he had one, but he'd already photoshopped Grady into pegasus. |
|
biscuits_and_grady: just sign off the internet and never come back, guys, this is the worst thing to ever happen to Cleveland |
|
biscuits_and_grady: besides the river fire, the crippled economy, the last 100 years of sports history, the weather, and that guy who was raping ladies and turning them into insulation |
|
Pronky_Kong: if i didn't quit the internet after that browns/lions game i'm not quitting it after this hold please |
|
Pronky_Kong: /googles "grady sizemore nude" |
|
JetersNeverProsper: I already searched for that, I didn't find anything. Although the last time I searched for it was last week, so maybe they added something |
|
Pronky_Kong: okay, here we go. /loads page, skims |
|
Pronky_Kong: okay, so i'm gonna assume that your humiliation comes from being a jacked up athlete who can cover his entire junk with a mug |
| **Online Host** JetersNeverProsper has left the chatroom. |
|
|
Pronky_Kong: lol and in this one you're trying to bunch it all up and it looks like you've just got change in your pocket |
|
biscuits_and_grady: aw hey come on |
|
MarteInTheUSA: I like the ones where you're dressed like the guys from Stella |
|
Pronky_Kong: is this your mom's bathroom? did you post these on /b/? |
|
biscuits_and_grady: come on guys don't make fun of me, girls are always telling me that my d**k is big! |
|
MarteInTheUSA: do you ever pay attention to the kind of girls who like you |
|
Pronky_Kong: besides, if you really had a big d**k you wouldn't still be playing in cleveland |
|
biscuits_and_grady: grrr, I just want to know who posted these... I can't even remember who I sent them to... |
|
Pronky_Kong: well there's the one where you have your playmate ex-girlfriend's picture up, and you're all "ooh baby i'm so hot for you i'm gonna masturbate without pulling down my underwear" |
 |
ShaprioAndBallyhoo: ahem does this sound familiar: "i just moved to the area and i think your hot - wanna chat? a/s/l/p" |
|
biscuits_and_grady: CullenCravings91??? |
|
MarteInTheUSA: Oh, okay, that explains it, you just fell for one of Shapiro's tricks. |
|
Pronky_Kong: he's got n00ds from all of us by now - one time he told me that eating 2 hot dogs on sugardale dollar dog night would be hot, so i did and was sick for eight months |
|
MarteInTheUSA: one time he let me play four whole seasons without telling me i suck sh** at playing baseball |
|
ShaprioAndBallyhoo: "oh grady take a picture in your ladies jeans, show me your steve from blues clues underwear" |
| **Online Host** biscuits_and_grady has left the chatroom. |
|
|
ShaprioAndBallyhoo: have I systematically destroyed the team yet |
|
Pronky_Kong: pretty much |
Whitney Houston Dead At 48
TV SoundOff: Sunday Talking Heads
WATCH AND LISTEN: Whitney's Hits
Sarah Palin 'Not Convinced' Of Romney's Conservatism
Linsanity Continues
Blogger Faces Possible Death Penalty For Tweets
Paul Ryan On Obama's 'Accounting Trick'
Mitt Romney Once Backed Provision He Now Decries
Man Reportedly Dead After Shots Heard Near National Mall
'Whatever': Footage Shows Captain Schettino's Reaction As Ship Sank (VIDEO)
US Faces Tough Fight In Cash Smuggling Crackdown
Sarah Palin And Supporters Drown Out Occupiers
Rick Santorum: GOP Race A 2-Man Contest
Media Figures Pay Tribute To Whitney Houston
Ron Paul Reacts To Maine Caucus Results
WATCH: Woman Confronts Romney About Offshore Funds
AT&T Doubles Fee
Angry Mob Beats Suspected Kidnappers To Death
Russia: Adoptive US Parents Committed 'Incessant String Of Crimes'
WATCH: Breitbart Explodes At Occupy Activists, Calls Them 'Filthy Freaks'
Family Affair: Dick Durbin Aide's Spouse Lobbied For Illinois Company's Earmark
Walker: 'Lord Help Us If We Fail'
