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In two weeks, the perpetual train wreck that is John Daly's life suddenly seems quaint when compared to the Tiger Woods melodrama that gets weirder by the day. But Daly, at one time PGA Commissioner Tim Finchem's biggest off-course headache, has made his life an open book, one that has included a lot of booze, a lot of women and even more Hooters hot wings. While Tiger has been sleeping his way across the country, Daly had lap-band surgery, dropped more than 100 pounds, and finally decided to get serious about his golf game. Big John is currently in Australia preparing for the Australian PGA and during a Tuesday press conference he told the assembled media of his "cinematic plans based on a new book he would write himself."
Via the Associated Press:
"I just saw Matt Damon, how he swung a golf club, and I thought if I ever made a movie, I want him to be me," Daly said. "The tough part is who would play me at 290 pounds. Now Kevin James, he's my bud, but he'd be good."
When asked what the main storyline might be, he said: "It would just be the life, it would be the whole thing. The guts of it all."
"The problem is who is going to play all the ex-wives?" added Daly, who has four ex-wives, to laughter.
I vote for Elin Nordegren. Life imitating art imitating life and all that.
As for Matt Damon playing the role of J.D. on the big screen, sure, why not. His swing (about 1:20 in) doesn't exactly scream "GRIP IT AND RIP IT," but if Daly really does weigh 175 (is that possible?) Damon is as good a choice as anybody.
(Other options: Shia LeBeouf, Adam Sandler and, naturally, Noonan. As for pre-lap-band John? Kevin James works, but Horatio Sanz his a personal favorite. And for unintended comedy value: Patton Oswalt.)
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