Stinkface Chronicles: Stocking Stuffers

It's rare that we have such a quick about-Stinkface in the Chronicles (considering the Chronicles started just this year, every post will have a rarity), but Minnesota's Corey Brewer has become our first posterizer to become posterized.

Brewer, as you remember from Stinkface VIII, asked Derek Fisher to check out the arthroscopy on his right knee last week. Pardon me, but "ask" may be too polite. Brewer demanded Fisher take a gander because the Wolves forward shoved it right into the veteran's chest en route to the hoop.

This week, however, thanks to hustle and hubris, Brewer ended up on the wrong side of Tony Allen's boot -- the underside.

Your stocking stuffer after the jump.

Considering we still need to do some last minute shopping for the Stinkface kids and Mrs. Stinkface, we'll breakdown this week's dunk with the alacrity we hope to have when we scour the shelves for gifts. So, let's get to it, shall we?

Tony Allen on Corey Brewer



There's much to like about this, our second Stinkface at the Garden this season. I even like Minnesota's Kevin Love trying a "nifty little drop pass" as Mike Gorman says to Ramon Sessions. Not many big men can make that pass these days. Alas, Love couldn't make it as Boston's Eddie House, who is not known for his defense, taps the ball away but doesn't have it under control. Love lunges, but House hurries and taps the ball over Love's nugget toward the sideline.

Uh, oh, Celtics fans it appears the Wolves will retain the rock. But, House, making the most surprising play of his life (as inferred by Gorman's shocked exclamation: "Eddie House!?!?"), chases down the ball and whips it behind his back. You can tell most of the Wolves are surprised too, as they stand flatfooted while a streaking Tony Allen, who was guarding Brewer on the opposite wing, gathers House's blind-squirrel pass. (And it's a no-looker because House was trying to keep his eyes on the scorer's table to keep from crashing over it.)

Brewer, who realizes he has a chance to make a play, tries to make a play. But Allen is too far out front for Brewer to be anything but screen saver material. You can almost sense Wolves coach Kurt Rambis wouldn't mind trading places for the moment to exact a little too clothesline for comfort revenge on a Celtic, any Celtic, but this is Brewer, who's thin as a reed and looks as if he'd blow away in a Nor'easter. He may challenge, but he won't knock anyone into next week.

Still, we admire Brewer's great gumption.

As for the highlight itself, long-time Celtics play-by-play man helps it not only by his change in tone, but by keeping it simple. After noticing his surprise at who made the steal and the pass, ("Eddie House?!?!") he has to pause a second as if to convince himself of what just happened before he gets two words out: "Tony Allen." Gorman was stunned into broadcasting brevity.

My only lament about the highlight is that it's not a little longer. We get a glimpse of the Celtics bench, but we don't get the full effect of the zany Cs. Two players rise as Allen rises, but the two replays are so quick that we never get the full Stinkface effect. Maybe someone out in Stinkface land has a longer version. We'd love to see it. It would your holiday gift to us.

Speaking of holiday gifts, I leave you with two all-time classics, not to analyze, but to enjoy. The following are two of the greatest (non-Olympic) in-game dunks of all-time. We present to you, Julius Erving rocking the baby to sleep (can't stay awake when Santa Claus arrives) and Vince Carter laughing all the way (Zo! Zo! Zo!).

Vince Carter on Alonzo Mourning



The most amazing thing about that dunk besides, well, everything is how clean the dunk is. It doesn't rattle the rim, it doesn't take its time going through. It's the athletic equivalent of getting shivved in prison. (Not that I'd know from either end of the knife. Or prison.)

Dr. J on Michael Cooper



This is quality in every way, from Chick Hearn's immortal, brilliant in-the-moment call right down the guy's beard and white-guy perm in the cutaway. It doesn't get much better than this.