'Vampyre King' Jailed for Threat to Impale Judge

(Dec. 23) -- Indiana prosecutor Mario Massillamany doesn't need to tell people how to correctly pronounce his name this week, as he usually does. These days, he's known as "Mario, the Vampire Slayer."

After threatening to beat, torture, dismember, decapitate and impale a judge and his children, self-described "Vampyre King" Rocky Flash -- otherwise known as "Jonathon the Impaler" -- has been sentenced to two years in jail.

"This might put a little crimp in his plan to run for president of the United States," Massillamany said. "One thing is for sure, this guy is one of a kind."

The 45-year-old leader of Vampyre Nation -- a Web site devoted to people who believe they're undead blood suckers -- was arrested after sending threatening messages from a public library to Marion County Judge David Certo.

Several months before the arrest, the judge had ordered Flash to avoid contact with a woman he'd met on an online dating Web site.

Flash, who sat quietly in court while a public defender pleaded his case, has been known to rage at public officials. He claims that he is sovereign to "vampyre law," not human law.

"I am known through this world as a Satanic Vampire and Hecate Witch," he says on the Jonathon "The Impaler" for President Web site, in a February 2008 blog posting.

In that posting, Flash rails against those officials involved with the online dating case.

"So may this be taken as a warning and a declaration," he wrote in part. "If anyone else ever pisses me off and tries to take advantage of me (or screw me over), I swear by Lucifer, I will not call Secret Service or any law enforcement agencies. I will just beat, torture and then kill you. I promise you, your remains will never be found. Actually, there will be no remains to be found."

Flash's threats were so specific, officials say they had to take the matter seriously.

"The judge has young children," Massillamany said. "And this guy is saying that the judge must be punished for violating vampire law."

Flash's background is indeed hard to ignore. On his MySpace page, he says, "It's very simple, child molesters, rapists, killers ... instead of getting off easy like they have been, I will impale them ... I will make Rambo look like Mother Teresa."

His 2008 presidential campaign included an impale-the-terrorists platform. In one posting he brags about burning a Muslim prayer mat, declaring, "This is now a Holy War between Satanists and Muslims."

At the Vampyre Nation Web site, however, the language is decidedly not as threatening. Blood should be sucked only from "willing donors," he says. There is even a "Donor Bill of Rights" that includes the right to decline feedings, the right to heal after a feeding and the right to end the relationship at any time.

"This is not a role-playing site," the site says. "It is meant for the understanding and development of Vampyres as a community."

As leader of vampires in North America, he also has political aspirations, having run for president in 2004 and 2008, and for the U.S. Senate in Indiana.

The Web site offers step-by-step advice for newbies. Vampires should always use a condom, even if they feed on their sex partner, for sanitary reasons.

And if newbies don't like the taste of blood, "mix it with a few drops of red wine."

Flash's legal saga has even left experts in vampire lore scratching their heads. "Most immortals want to fly under the radar," says Meredith Woerner, author of "Vampire Taxonomy."

"There is such a thing as vampire law, but this guy must be in violation of that, too."