One Account* of What Happened to Tiger Woods Over Thanksgiving

It's been a month since Tiger Woods, behind the wheel of his Cadillac Escalade, took out a fire hydrant and crashed into a tree. And in that time, mistresses numbering in the teens have come forward, his wife Elin has hired a divorce lawyer, sponsors distanced themselves from the world's best golfer, and everybody had a theory on what actually happened in Woods' Isleworth home that Thanksgiving night.

And more than four weeks later, we still haven't heard from Tiger. He admitted to "transgressions" and "infidelity" on his Web site, but the last time we saw him, it was mid-November and he had just won the Australian Masters.

Well, here's the latest on what may have taken place* at the Woods' residence late last month, courtesy of former Atlanta Journal-Constitution columnist Furman Bisher who writes on his blog, "The following is a legitimate message I received from a trustworthy journalist I have known for years. It's the Tiger-Elin incident finally put into reliable form, and I send along for no purpose other than to present the picture in its clearest form."

Bisher provides the narrative and you can read it here, but I've hit the highlights in bulleted form below.

- After eating Thanksgiving dinner, Tiger was at home watching football, trading text messages with Rachel Uchitel. He would regularly clear his sent and received text message folders to cover his tracks. At some point, an Orlando friend called Woods to see if he wanted to meet at the Isleworth clubhouse to play poker that evening. Woods agreed and left the house around 7:30 PM. He left behind his cell phone, which still had one undeleted message from Uchitel.

- Tiger returned home around midnight and Elin confronted him about the Uchitel text. Woods suggested that his wife was overreacting and as she pleaded for him to come clean he continued to stonewall. According to the account, "At one point Tiger turned away to look at the TV, and as he turned back, Elin hit him on the right side of the face with the head of a 9-iron." This explains the facial lacerations in the police report. Elin allegedly broke two teeth and put a huge gash on the right side of his face. Tiger, no doubt realizing the seriousness of what was happening, tried to leave, and Elin followed him swinging wildly along the way before eventually breaking out the back window of his Escalade as he drove off. She freaked out when Woods crashed, which explains the conflicting stories she gave the police. Elin also called Mark Steinberg (Tiger's agent) to relay what had happened, and Steinberg agreed to meet them at the hospital.

- The doctor treats Woods but says there isn't much he can do for the broken teeth. He suggests a cosmetic dentist and plastic surgeon in Phoenix, Tiger tells Steinberg to prep the private jet, and they make their way to Arizona. This was the Friday after Thanksgiving. At some point Tiger returned to Orlando, and he and Elin have been in intense marriage counseling sessions every day, six-to-seven hours a day. Apparently, "Both Tiger and Elin have told the counselors they love each other, and want to make the marriage work."

- The news that Tiger's yacht was docked in Palm Beach is true -- along with the accounts that Uchitel was also in the area -- but he was not on board. (As for Uchitel, her parents live six blocks from where the boat was docked.) In fact, Woods hasn't returned to his Isleworth home since the accident, but instead has been staying at neighboring Bay Hill. IMG contacted Arnold Palmer because of the respect Woods has for Palmer, and also because Palmer might be one of the few people to get through to Woods.

- As for the moving trucks spotted outside Woods' Isleworth home, they were there to remove the furniture damaged during Elin's golf-clubbing rampage, nothing more. And despite Elin retaining a divorce lawyer, she has no plans to actually file for divorce.

- The reason we haven't seen Tiger is because of the cosmetic surgery, and it will be another month or two before he's in front of a camera. In the meantime, Woods is hitting golf balls at night on the range at Bay Hill.

* Worth keeping in mind: Bisher relies on an anonymous source. So while the story seems reasonable enough, and certainly less salacious than anything you might read on, say, TMZ, we still can't independently verify it. (UPDATE: Also worth keeping in mind: Deadspin pointed out last week that Bisher's retelling is most likely a hoax.)