Stinkface Chronicles: The Beas' Knees

Welcome to the first Stinkface of 2010, good people.

Considering that we've entered the second decade of the 21st Century, it's probably appropriate that we start this edition of Stinkface with a term -- "The Bee's Knees" -- which dates back nearly 400 years. No wonder then, even with the most powerful of search engines, pinning down the origin of the idiom has been difficult.

There's the Shakespeare origin and the '20s flapper version. And then there's the contraction of "b's and e's" or the "be-all and end-all". Say it fast as the English do -- bees-n-ees -- and you get bees' knees. (Kind of like how the Brits contracted bottom into bum, which is very Stinkface appropriate.)

Whether you approve of the Bard's, the Betty's or the bastardized version, each comes to the same conclusion: bee's knees means the height of excellence. And it describes our first Stinkface of the new year courtesy of Miami's Michael Beasley.

The height of Beas' knees -- right in Boris Diaw's face -- after the jump.

Michael Beasley on Charlotte

Beasley has buckets of talent. He also has had buckets of problems since entering the NBA. Check that. Last year, he ran afoul of the league office before he played his first game with some shenanigans during the Rookie Transition Program. Then there was this during the summer of '09, in which many people were wondering: horn-rimmed glasses? Hanging from the "S"? Really? That's not supercool.

(Rob's editor: Psst! Womp, womp, womp-womp-wah!)

It wasn't the glasses? (Womp.) Hmm. Anyway, Beasley has put up numbers this season more consistent with the talent found in a No. 2 overall pick: 15.8 points per game, 6.8 boards, has started all 35 games and has even let his hair down, going with the 'fro for some contests. And last week, he came through with his first Stinkface of 2010 complete with the 'fro alfow.

Check this out.

Ohhhhhhh! Nice. The bench liked it. Beasley liked it -- a tad too much for Del Curry -- but even Curry had to catch his breath because the dunk was so spectacular. Curry couldn't finish his thoughts, like when Madeleine Kahn meets the monster for the first time in Young Frankenstein: "Goodness. That should be a technical. He's taunting Boris a little bit, but, wow! Hung in the air, waited for that ball to ... oh my goodness!"

To be fair, that's about as good a real-time analysis you're going to get on a dunk like that.

As for the Heat bench, well, they couldn't contain themselves, and rightly so. One Heatian* was up as Quentin Richardson launched a three, which was short, but had enough shooter's touch to pop the ball straight up. That's where Beasley came flying in and the Heat bench went with him. One benchwarmer -- the player to the right of the player who initially stood up -- did half-a-Fred Sanford. And rare is the dunk that brings an assistant coach out of his seat as this one did David Fizdale. At least I think it's Fizdale, who has a goatee in this clip and in the Heat media guide, which is great for another reason -- the photo of Juilo Iglesias, who is a limited partner with the organization.

Now, normally, I'd scold a coach for expressing such joy at a dunk because they supposedly have seen it all. But in these cases, I find it endearing that they can get excited as well. And what's not to get excited about this one?

With apologies to Prince, this tip dunk is the fault and Beasley housequaked Diaw.

*Shaq-coined, Peterson-approved

Amar'e Stoudemire on Shane Battier

He of the extraneous apostrophe, Stoudemire -- the father of the 'Face, progenitor of the punk, the daddy of our dunk feature -- returns with a shattering rebuttal of Shane Battier.

You have two-time MVP Steve Nash executing a nifty drop-pass off the elbow pick-and-roll, just as Stephon Marbury did in Stoudemire's rookie season and Amar'e executing a similar one-handed facial on Battier as he did on Michael Olowokandi eight seasons ago.

Watching that clip is like eating a good bowl of chicken soup in the winter: comfort food.

Juwan Howard on Chris Kaman