Stinkface Chronicles: Duck Season

Wednesday night's contest, er, game, nay, exhibition between the visiting Boston Celtics and their-more-than-gracious hosts, the now 3-35 New Jersey Nets, at the IZOD Center lacked many things that usually make up an NBA game: competition, excitement, fans.

But the tilt between two teams on the opposite end of the sporting spectrum wasn't completely devoid of thrills. In advance, we at Stinkface HQ would like to thank Tony Allen, Paul Pierce and Bill Walker for being the saving graces of this game.

The two Stinkfaces after the jump.

Tony Allen vs. Gravity

I have seen many Stinkface dunks in person, but I haven't seen one in person this season. Until last night.

Got a good look at this as it happened and will fully admit I noted it's funkiness as it occurred. But what I failed to notice as it happened was what Allen, a previous Stinkface subject, did with his noggin as he rose toward the rim.

Not only did he have to catch the alley -- from Pierce with one hand, and flush it cleanly through in one, swift motion -- Allen had to avoid the "Oops!" on his -oop as he moved his head to avoid clunking his cranium on the backboard.

The IZOD Center exploded as much as the IZOD Center can, but there was definitely a low-level hum after the dunk. Even Brook Lopez had a "Damn!" look on his face.

As spectacular as it looked in person, it looks that much more in slow motion and in Nathaniel S. Butler's photo above.

Brian Scalabrine vs. '80s Nostalgia

Now, I hope you didn't click on the video expecting "Scal" nee "Veal" bringing the Stink on someone's mug. That job belongs to Bill Walker, who destroyed poor Josh Boone. And the Celtics' bench adored Walker's effort. Ray Allen gives Pierce a playful shove, Kendrick Perkins turned into a towel-waving 21st Century M.L. Carr and Scalabrine gets his pop-lock on.

That's right, Scal thinks he's in Chaka Khan's "I Feel For You" video. Maybe he just wanted to be a Western Conference All-Star, circa 2006.

Regardless, it's like finding "Train In Vain" on The Clash's London Calling album although it wasn't listed on the album cover: a very pleasant surprise that may turn out to be a bigger hit than the dunk itself.