Shaq Wants LeBron, Kobe, and Vince Carter in the Dunk Contest

It's been fairly quiet on the Shaquille O'Neal front this season. At 38 years of age, Shaq no longer feels the need to be the center of attention, at least not 100 percent of the time. But occasionally, the mood strikes, and he says something to remind everyone that he's still one of the league's greatest showmen.

Like calling out LeBron James, Kobe Bryant, and Vince Carter in an attempt to infuse life into All-Star weekend's Slam Dunk Contest.

After the Cavaliers' Tuesday night win over the Raptors, Shaq laid out an idea that, at least on the surface, would seem to be a great one: bring the biggest names out to dunk, with half of the prize money being donated to Haiti.

"As his manager, I will only allow 'Bron to do the dunk contest if Vince Carter comes back out," O'Neal said. "If Kobe comes back out and if another big name comes back out. If we could get a big prize and have half of the money go to the people of Haiti and the other half to the winner.

"The guys that are in it, no disrespect to them, but there won't really be any competition for LeBron. I want to see Kobe. I want to see Vince and I will allow my client to enter."

"I'm saying it now," O'Neal said. "So tweet it. Facebook it. E-mail it and hopefully it gets out. Vince, we're calling you out. Kobe, we're calling you out. We're calling everybody out. If those guys step up in the dunk contest, then I will allow my client to step up."

Exciting stuff, right? Unfortunately, there are fairly some obvious reasons why this will never happen -- first and foremost being the health of the participants.

Vince Carter currently has a shoulder injury, and honestly, given his history, he'll probably have a few more ailments pop up in the weeks leading up to the event anyway.

---

---

Kobe Bryant, while he hasn't missed any games, has struggled with multiple injuries, including dislocated fingers, and most recently, back spasms. The fingers might not stop him from dunking, but if the back issues flare up, then it would become almost impossible.

Now, even if Bryant and Carter were magically to become 100 percent healed by February 13th, let's be honest: these guys aren't what they used to be in terms of sheer leaping ability. Kobe won the event back in 1997, and Carter won it back in 2000 (with arguably one of the greatest contest dunks of all time). Does anyone believe that either of these players could do anything remotely approaching their abilities of more than a decade ago? Or even the dunks we've seen just in the past couple of years from guys like Nate Robinson or Dwight Howard?

The answer, obviously, is "no way." LeBron would win in a cake-walk, which is another reason guys like Kobe and VC would have little motivation to participate.

It could be an amazingly entertaining event, though, especially if Shaq is still feeling good about his relationship with Kobe, the way he did at last year's All-Star game. Picture this: Kobe versus LeBron in the final round. LeBron does his take on the famous Jordan free-throw line dunk, only (because it's LeBron) he takes off from the three-point line instead. The crowd goes wild, and James looks to have wrapped up the title before Bryant has even made his final attempt.

But Shaq, still wanting that spotlight, stands in the middle of the lane Dwight Howard-style. Kobe lines him up from half court, planning to fly over his former teammate and bring the house down for what would certainly be one of the most memorable dunks of all time.

Kobe takes off from just inside the free-throw line, but just as he passes over Shaq, at the last second, O'Neal raises both arms above his head, catches Kobe in mid-air, and ruthlessly SLAMS HIM TO THE FLOOR! The shock! The horror!

We later learn that this was all an elaborate plan to take Bryant out, and clear the way for Shaq to get his fifth championship ring before Kobe did. With the Lakers' star out of the picture, the Cavs win the NBA title, albeit under some extremely dubious circumstances.

Okay, even in light of all of the costumes, phone booths, Superman vs. Krypto-Nate nonsense and everything else, that's obviously not happening. But it's only mildly more outrageous than the idea of a well-aged Kobe Bryant or an old and brittle Vince Carter agreeing to get shown up on one of the league's biggest stages by LeBron James.