Hall of Famer Carlton Fisk spoke out this week against Mark McGwire, Roger Clemens, the current generation of steroid-enhanced baseball players, and young people in general. Fisk's ability to make a reasoned, educated point while still managing to sound like a complete condescending d-bag puts him right at home with today's post-print media writers. I haven't read the entire interview, but I'm going to guess that near the end he calls McGwire "overrated" and refers to the slugger's 583 home runs as "underwhelming" and "fundamentally broken."

Today's Dugout follows. And if you don't like it? Excuuuuuuse me.

The Dugout

	Online Host Welcome to the MLB™ Network Chatroom, sponsored in part and also in totality by Major League Baseball™.
	ItCostasTheGame: We're live from Newport Coast, California, with Mark McGwire, who today as you probably know acknowledged using steroids during his Major League Baseball™ career.
	ItCostasTheGame: At the time that you were doing it, did you feel as if you were cheating. Did you feel as if you were doing something dishonorable.
	TheGwire: well to look back now [sniff] as far as my health, and my injuries, try to help my injuries, to make me feel normal... I can see how people can say that
	TheGwire: but as far as the God given talent, the hand/eye coordination, the ability, the gentics I was given.... I don't see it
	TheGwire: it might be enough to get you into the Majors. But in order to be a standout, an All-Star, a Champion, you need more than hard work and dedication. You need something that you can't work for. You need a blessing from God Almighty.
	Online Host Carlton Fisk has barged onto the set.
	FiskOfTheNorthStar: Excuuuuuuuuuuuuse me! Steroids make you more acuity physically and mentally and optically. You are going to be stronger and you are going to be better
	FiskOfTheNorthStar: God gave you talent but he also gave you glass feet and a back made out of charlie horses and scorpions
	TheGwire: I didn't want to be injured all the time! I had to do something!
	FiskOfTheNorthStar: here's a good way to heal a foot: stop f**king walking around
	FiskOfTheNorthStar: Try having your knees operated on and catching for 30 years. Do you think you feel good when you go out there?
	FiskOfTheNorthStar: You had to stand around and play first base. Excuuuuuuuse me!
	ItCostasTheGame: We're live from Newport Coast, California, where Hall of Fame catcher with immobile robot legs Carlton Fisk has some harsh words for Mark McGwire, who-
	FiskOfTheNorthStar: costas
	ItCostasTheGame: yes Carlton
	FiskOfTheNorthStar: if I jump up and down in place and wave my arms to the left, would you f**king go away forever
	ItCostasTheGame: knowing me, probably
	TheGwire: I didn't do anything wrong, I broke a vase in my hallway one afternoon and took steroids to help it be fixed
	FiskOfTheNorthStar: costas
	ItCostasTheGame: yes Carlton
	FiskOfTheNorthStar: what do you call that beige pot you've got over there slow-cooking your pinto beans
	ItCostasTheGame: it's a crock
	FiskOfTheNorthStar: you're god damn right it is
	FiskOfTheNorthStar: There's a reason they call it performance-enhancing drugs. That's what it does -- performance enhancement. You can be good, but it's going to make you better.
	FiskOfTheNorthStar: You can be average, but it is going to make you good. If you are below average, it is going to make you average.
	FiskOfTheNorthStar: if you are handicapped, they will make you walk. If you are a baby, they will make you age into adulthood instantly. If you are dead, they will bring you back to life.
	FiskOfTheNorthStar: and while I'm at it, f**k Roger Clemens in his fat wet ass
	OldLOL: now what the hell did i do
	FiskOfTheNorthStar: EXCUUUUUUUUSE ME, the reason you got let go from the Red Sox is because you were breaking down, your last couple of years in Boston weren't productive
	FiskOfTheNorthStar: Then all of a sudden you go to Toronto and you want to show somebody something. Then you get two consecutive Cy Young Awards. Come on, give me a bucket.
	FiskOfTheNorthStar: just give me a frcking bcket
	TheGwire: what does that even mean?
	OldLOL: yeah what are you, a walrus, are we in the walrus dugout again
	FiskOfTheNorthStar: costas
	ItCostasTheGame: yes Carlton
	FiskOfTheNorthStar: what tub of butter are you using on your bread, is it a parkay or is it a and o' lakes
	ItCostasTheGame: it's a Country Crock
	FiskOfTheNorthStar: no kidding
	FiskOfTheNorthStar: GREGG OLSON FROM THE EARLY 1990S GET OUT HERE I GOT SOMETHING TO YELL ABOUT YOU
	HHGregg: How did you even know I was here? I was in the green room!
	FiskOfTheNorthStar: EXCUUUUUUUUUUSE ME, I could smell your Todd Packer looking ass from outside
	FiskOfTheNorthStar: you only learned to throw ONE PITCH in your entire life and you just kept THROWING IT ALL THE TIME, even when people were expecting it you just threw it like it was going to magically work
	HHGregg: That was my Uncle Charlie!
	FiskOfTheNorthStar: you were fking LOBBING IT over the plate, you had the job of pitcher, woopity doo, try catching some of your shty pitches
	HHGregg: jeez
	ItCostasTheGame: In summary, Carlton Fisk hates Mark McGwire, he hates Roger Clemens, and Gregg Olson is the worst pitcher of all time
	HHGregg: Carlton Fisk THINKS I'm the worst pitcher of all time
	ItCostasTheGame: yeah, "thinks"
	Online Host Princess Zelda has entered the chatroom.
	Zelda: Carlton, why are you here talking about baseball? We're supposed to be protecting Hyrule!
	FiskOfTheNorthStar: well EXCUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME Princess!