Opinion: A Guide for the Unemployed

(Jan. 25) -- I'll bet I've been unemployed more times than you have. Seriously, I have the plaque.

For that reason, and the fact that I have always found another, better gig -- and managed to (mostly) enjoy my "time off" -- I feel qualified to offer some insights for the millions of you out there looking for work right now and the thousands more added to your ranks every day. (On Friday, the government reported that -- 24 months after the recession started -- unemployment rates continued to climb in 43 states last month.)

Let's review my expertise in this field, shall we?

For one reason or another, I've found myself looking for work eight times in the 16 years since I graduated from James Madison University with my degree in Pre-Renaissance Dance Theory. Or was it Computer Information Systems? Well, the first one would sure explain the layoffs. Anyway, here's the rundown.

• Software company, 1994-96: Quit to pursue my stand-up career in Hollywood.
• The Comedy Store, 1996-97: Fired by Pauly Shore's mom for no reason anyone there could figure out. (I'm not kidding.)
• IT consultancy, 1997-98: Fired for being terrible at consulting.
• Dot-com No. 1, 1998-99: Laid off after they shut down.
• Dot-com No. 2, 1999-01: Laid off after they shut down.
• Airline, 2002-05: Laid off after they shut down. (At this point I started to think it was me.)
• Internet media company, 2006-07: Laid off during a big layoff.
• Same Internet media company, 2007-09: Laid off during a big layoff after being rehired (or "laid on" as I liked to tell people.)

Now, keep in mind, most of those layoffs took place during periods of relative strength in our nation's economy. Still, I know enough now to guide others through this time of difficulty. After all, I'm an expert. The expert.

First, and most importantly, get ready to feel panic. Everyone tells you not to panic. But "panicky" is a feeling, and, as someone once said, "Feelings are neither right nor wrong, they simply are." The best you can do is, if you start to feel panicked, don't act panicked. You'll be surprised by how quickly the feeling subsides, no matter how often it arrives.

Second, people sometimes describe getting laid off as a "kick in the gut." It's more like a "punch in the face." A kick in the gut doesn't make your ears ring or leave a mark that everyone can see. I remember getting a call -- the call -- during one layoff. I was so stunned, hurt, embarrassed and, yes, panicked, that I couldn't hear a word my VP was saying after "... you've been impacted by this layoff." The ringing in my ears was as real as if I'd just taken a haymaker to the kisser from a prizefighter.

Third, be ready to lose your ego. This was tough for me, because of my unmatched awesomeness. I remember going to the unemployment office to file, back before you could do it online. I recall feeling soooo superior to the people I saw all around me. "What losers," I thought, "I don't belong here." Then, when I got back in my car, I saw that my fly had been down the entire time I was in there. There is zero shame in being unemployed. Giving up? That's another story.

Fourth, you'll need to force yourself to stay busy. After one particularly bad layoff, during a particularly bad period in my life, I made to-do lists that had items like, "Get out of bed, shower, call three friends," if only to feel like I was making progress each day, no matter how small.

The best insight I can offer, though, is to hang tough. No recession lasts forever. Neither will this one.
____________
When not looking for work, Dave George is a social media marketer by day and a stand-up comedian by night. You can follow him on Twitter -- @DaveGeorge_DC.