Senior Bowl Turns Into Tebow-Palooza

MOBILE, Ala. -- The Senior Bowl is over. Here are the latest poll numbers for Tim Tebow:

32 percent think he's destined to work in the NFL.

29 percent think he's destined to work at McDonald's.

The National Organization for Women thinks he's destined to work for the Taliban.

I think he's destined to be drafted in the fourth round, spend a couple of years as a hybrid novelty before becoming a serviceable pro and winning the Nobel Peace Prize.

But what do I know? What do you know? What does anyone know other than everybody seems to know something when it comes to Tebow?

"He's going to be a good professional," said Tony Sparano, who at least has credentials to weigh in.

He coached the South, which lost 31-13 in the Tebow Bowl. It was unofficially renamed that after fans rushed the field and engulfed their hero.

"I touched Tebow!" one yelled.

The guy then arose from his wheelchair and did the Zumba.

It was quite a reception for a quarterback who'd just completed eight of 12 passes for 50 yards and rushed for four yards. Throw in two fumbles and Tebow didn't look much like the Timinator who owned the SEC the past three seasons.

Part of that was due to the South's non-existent blocking schemes. Part of that was due to a virus that waylaid Tebow most of the week. The rest was due to the fact Tebow is a few light years away from being NFL ready.

This week proved that, but so what? College quarterbacks aren't supposed to be NFL ready. It's just that this college quarterback is a cult phenomenon.

Everything he does is over-hyped, over-discussed and over-analyzed. I can't really criticize seeing how I just spent four hours tracking his every move at Ladd-Peebles Stadium.

But considering the NFL Draft is the most over-hyped, over-discussed and over-analyzed event of the sports year, the nation runs a serious risk of Tebow Overload between now and April 22.

My advice is to avoid ESPN, The 700 Club and The View. Just when you thought Tebow couldn't get any bigger, he became the most controversial player in this year's Super Bowl.

The pro-life commercial starring Florida's quarterback was last week's cultural hot potato. Whatever he says in those 30 seconds, it has already generated 30 billion times the conversation.

Tebow had more intractable issues than abortion to deal with last week. Like trying to take a snap under center. After years in Urban Meyer's shotgun, stuff like taking a hike, dropping back and staying in the pocket cannot be taken for granted.

Tebow struggled in early practices. The 800 or so (no exaggeration) NFL coaches and scouts who descended on Mobile dutifully took notes.

"I don't regret my decision to come here," Tebow said. "I think I got a lot better as the week went on."

Some still whispered that Tebow was a "major project." Others like Sparano were more enthusiastic. Joy Behar said that instead of an NFL quarterback, Tebow could "just as easily be a rapist pedophile."

No wait, that's what she said in critiquing his pro-choice commercial. Like Roe vs Wade, people have developed verrrry strong opinions about Tebow vs. NFL Defenses.

One view is his mechanics are hopelessly messed up. The other is Tebow's such a "winner" with otherworldly "intangibles" that he will eventually succeed.

And these are opinions from actual experts, not just goobers who watch a lot of football on TV or spend a lot of time in press boxes.

Of course, experts were enamored with bozos like JaMarcus Russell and Ryan Leaf, and they passed on Tom Brady until the sixth round and let Kurt Warner start his employment career as a grocery clerk.

So who really knows?

"He's a smart guy and a pleasure to coach," Sparano said. "I thought he did a pretty nice job."

Certainly a nicer job than Senior Bowl security, which opened the gates and let the field turn into Tebowpalooza.

"Just another day for him," Sparano said.

The adoration, the scrutiny, the resentment. Pro-life, pro-choice or pro football? The opinions just get sharper and sharper.

At least this debate will have an actual resolution. In a couple of years, Tebow will be on his way to being the next Steve Young or well on his way to being the next Danny Wuerffel.

Until then, yak away.

Everybody can have an opinion and nobody will sound completely idiotic. Unless they're Joy Behar.