The New York Yankees have signed veteran outfielder Randy Winn to a one-year contract worth a reported... huh, what? Oh, sorry, I passed out from a colossal kind of boredom trying to finish that sentence and bashed my head into the coffee table. Hey look, I have a small bump on my head, and somehow even that is more exciting than the Yankees signing Randy Winn. Sorry Randy, I didn't want to take you in the 20th round of my fantasy draft and I don't really want to talk about you here.

The Dugout follows.

The Dugout

	GirardiAndCola: So who is this girl you're engaged to again?
	JetersNeverProsper: Her name's Minka Kelly? She's an actress.
	GirardiAndCola: oh okay, has she been in anything I might've seen
	JetersNeverProsper: not really, unless you liked Power Rangers Light Speed Rescue. She's on Friday Night Lights.
	GirardiAndCola: The one where Tim McGraw gets pissed and duct tapes a football to some kid's hand? Oh man, that movie is hilarious
	JetersNeverProsper: Not the movie, the TV show. I think it airs on Teen Nick or Noggin or whatever
	GirardiAndCola: There's a TV show AND a movie? I don't know, put it in terms I'm old enough to understand
	JetersNeverProsper: it's exactly like MAS*H, except about football and nobody has any body hair
	Online Host DoIMakeYouRandy has entered the chatroom.
	DoIMakeYouRandy: wassup rockers, welcome to the New York Yankees chatroom! Awright!
	ster_rod: WHO IS THEES CHOLO AN WHY DOES THE LOWER HALF OF HIS HEAD LOOG LIKE A BEAR'S A**HOLE
	GirardiAndCola: this is Randy Winn. We signed him to a one year contract worth about 250 bucks
	DoIMakeYouRandy: I'm your new utility outfielder! I'm like the damn Schneider of the outfield!
	GirardiAndCola: and also like Schneider, he's only going to be playing one day at a time.
	JetersNeverProsper: Don't worry, nobody gives a sh** about Randy Winn, we just signed him because of his name.
	DoIMakeYouRandy: Randy?
	JetersNeverProsper: every time you do anything it's a field day for sports reporters. You can work "win" into anything in sports, you don't even have to try
	GirardiAndCola: like when you hit a home run, fifteen guys rush to their computer to type GIANTS "WINN" THE DAY
	JetersNeverProsper: or LAST MINUTE "WINN"
	DoIMakeYouRandy: Whoa, I hit a home run?
	GirardiAndCola: or say you get engaged to Yinka Dare like Jeet over here, it's "WINN" I FALL IN LOVE
	JetersNeverProsper: or when we sign Randy Winn, it's "WINN" WILL THE YANKEES SIGN AN ACTUAL OUTFIELDER
	DoIMakeYouRandy: Huh, never occured to me! Heh! So, do you guys want me to actually play some baseball?
	GirardiAndCola: no, just go over there and stand beside Curtis Granderson until we tell you to move
	DoIMakeYouRandy: Hey, for 250 bucks I'll do whatever you say. How long do you think it'll be?
	JetersNeverProsper: until next year, when we give the money we aren't paying you to Joe Mauer
	Online Host ADamonApproaches has entered the chatroom.
	ADamonApproaches: uhhhhhhhhhhhh hey guys whath goin on in this uhhhh chatroom
	JetersNeverProsper: Hey man, how's it going? Any luck finding a roster spot in Toronto, or on one of those other dirt league teams?
	ADamonApproaches: umm well yeah of course a lotta teams interested in me got a lot to offer you know 36 can't throw baw from center to second
	ADamonApproaches: but lol you know i like to keep in touch with my fwends on this team the yankees are always gonna be my heart
	GirardiAndCola: no dice, Johnny, we aren't bringing you back. You said you didn't want to talk if we were gonna cut your pay.
	ADamonApproaches: oh did i say that? doesn't sound like me don't wemember
	GirardiAndCola: I'm sorry, we just don't have the kind of money you're looking for.
	ster_rod: /got paid $15,000 while Girardi typed sentence
	ADamonApproaches: oic ok well i'll be standen over here in obscurity an litewal worthlessness if you need me for anything
	GirardiAndCola: same place you've been standing since 2005, got it

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The Dugout

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The Dugout: Can't Think of a Pun for Randy Winn

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